not exactly as illustrated

Porters, Reunite!

2010-07-16T10:43:00.000-07:00

We just had our bi-annual Porter Reunion last weekend in Rollings Hills, AB, thanks to Lois and Doug Harrowing and their capable crew. It was SO much fun and just awesome to reconnect with immediate and fringe family members again. It has been so good to see so much of my siblings lately, but this time was actually a happy occasion so it was even more special. We really missed Mom and Uncle Bob, though.

Here is the official photo of the Reunion:

Robert and Pearl meet again

2010-05-20T17:15:00.000-07:00

June 4, 1924 to May 19, 2010

It's hard to believe that this smiley picture was taken not even two weeks ago, and when I last wrote, we were expecting Mom to be moved to Edmonton for an indefinite period of time for treatment and palliative care.

On Monday, May 17th, Michelle called me to say that Jo had messaged her about going to Edson right away. We figured something must be up, so I checked my email and Evonne had emailed that we should call her or Terry right away. Mom had taken a sudden turn and was not expected to live through the day. Michelle and I left work, jumped in the car and made it to Edson at about 4:30, along with most of my siblings and some of their kids. Mom was very agitated and drugged, but didn't seem to be in as much pain as before, and progressively over Monday and Tuesday she worsened. By Wednesday morning she was gone.

It's so hard to believe that just one month ago she was living at home by herself. When she was admitted to the hospital mid-April no one could have guessed that she would never come home. It is, certainly, a good thing that her pain and the process of dying didn't drag on for months and months. She was ready to go, and I guess her body was, too.

It's going to take awhile to absorb the concept that we will not see her anymore.

Trip to See Great Grandma

2010-05-14T19:53:00.001-07:00

It's wonderful to have Spring back in our lives. May is such a welcome month! We have beautiful weather and everything is so green and pretty. This year, however, our happiness is overshadowed by the sad news in April that my Mum is suffering from cancer.

She has been having just an awful time with pain for several months and has been in hospital since mid-April. Michelle and I were out to see her in Edson in April and Nyckee and I took the kids out last weekend. It just feels like I need to be there, but it's such a long drive that we can't realistically go more than every couple of weekends.

This past week, Mum was taken by ambulance to Edmonton for further tests. The needle biopsy, unfortunately, revealed that the cancer has spread to her bones and adrenal glands. It seems as though the bone cancer is the likely source of her pain, and they will be treating her with radiation at the clinic in Edmonton to see if that will alleviate the pain somewhat. Then it sounds as though palliative care is the next step. It's so hard to see her hurting so much -- she is still so bright, other than when she's on heavy meds, and it must be so much for her to take in all this sad news. The one positive thing about her being treated in Edmonton is that she will be closer for most of us to go visit her.

Anyway, sad times here these days, and sadder times yet to come.

February 18 -- Popular with the feline set

2010-02-18T17:16:00.000-08:00

Mr X belongs to Holly, the black and white cat, but Wheezer,our newest cat, is vying for some lovin'.

February 17 -- Big Fish!

2010-02-18T17:13:00.001-08:00

The weather has been ridiculously nice this winter and Mr X has been doing lots of ice fishing at a local lake. He usually throws the fish back, but lately he has saved a few for his Filipino friends at work. This was a big one!

February 15 -- Puddy's Birthday!

2010-02-15T18:40:00.000-08:00

Every year on Puddy's birthday, we take the dogs through the drive-thru for a birthday burger. Today Puddy is 8 and we still love him more every day!

February 14 -- Happy V Day!

2010-02-15T18:37:00.000-08:00

Nyckee and the kids came over for a Valentine's dinner tonight. Carson checks out his festive headband in the mirror. He's so cute!

February 12 -- Winter scenes con't

2010-02-12T21:34:00.000-08:00

Seriously, not a lot to take pictures of these days, but here's a pretty one that I took just outside our front door today. The temperatures have been very mild and there's been so much hoar frost this year -- it's so pretty!

February 6 & 7 -- Winter Weekend

2010-02-08T19:06:00.000-08:00

Not too many highlights in this Saskatchewan winter weekend. We did the usual -- took the dogs for a run out by the elevator at the edge of town both days, and for a special treat we went to the Casino on Sunday for their awesome brunch.

It was nice and sunny and not too cold, so just about perfect for a February weekend. Especially if you're a dog.

February 5 -- Cat in a Suitcase

2010-02-05T18:56:00.000-08:00

Orange found a comfy spot to sleep in Mr X's weekend bag. You just never know where you'll find a cat around here.

February 3 -- Frosty Day

2010-02-03T18:46:00.000-08:00

It has been the most beautiful winter and so far February is following suit! Today we had heavy fog in the morning, which left behind the most beautiful hoar frost, just in time for picture-taking.

February 2 -- Happy Birthday, Dad!

2010-02-03T18:43:00.000-08:00

Today would have been my dad's 86th birthday if he were still alive. This is him in younger days. Happy Birthday, Dad. We all miss you!

February 1 -- Best Buds

2010-02-02T05:08:00.001-08:00

Charlotte is Smokey's mom. They can be found sleeping like this several times a day, especially in the evening. Don't let anybody tell you cats and dogs don't get along.

January 31 -- Say Cheese!

2010-01-31T20:37:00.000-08:00

When I went over to Nyk's today, Chaeli passed out the headbands and asked her dad to take a picture. Aren't we cute!?

January 30 -- Yoga!

2010-01-30T19:04:00.001-08:00

Today I tried yoga for the very first time and I loved it! I feel so zen and relaxed, ahhh. Orange is trying out my new mat and DVD. He loves a little zen, too.

January 29 -- A gift of tea!

2010-01-29T19:00:00.000-08:00

Mr X has some very sweet Filipino friends at work, and they often give him little treats (last week they gave him a lovely bag of homemade spring rolls!). This tea is supposed to be pretty much magical -- I think it will cure just about anything that ails ye!

January 28 -- Pretty snow!

2010-01-28T19:23:00.001-08:00

I took this picture in the backyard tonight -- one of our flowerpots that didn't get cleaned out in the fall. The snow makes everything so pretty!

January 27 -- About town

2010-01-27T20:08:00.000-08:00

I missed a couple of days in there because I really, truly don't have a lot going on these days! Oh well -- I refuse to beat myself up about it, hah.

Here's a couple of pictures Mr X and I took as we were driving around a bit yesterday. One is a picture of the Shelter where Nyckee works -- we stopped in to see a couple of new dogs that just came in. So cute! The other one is one of about 5 or 6 snow sculptures that were made, I believe, in honour of the torch run a couple of weeks ago. They are in front of the Allen Sapp art gallery and they all have a First Nations flavour. We had gorgeous weather all month, so they have melted a bit, but they are still so pretty!

January 24 -- Family time

2010-01-24T19:16:00.000-08:00

We had the kids and wee ones over last night for dinner. Chaeli and Carson had SO much fun playing on their little chair with Auntie Mitchie!

January 23 -- Going for a run

2010-01-23T19:47:00.000-08:00

I took the dogs out for a run at the edge of town today because it was beautiful outside and, well, because they needed a run. Here's Puddy after he found a pile of snow to run through.

January 22 -- The orange sweater

2010-01-22T19:53:00.000-08:00

I went to grab a sweater tonight and was surprised to see an orange sweater that I didn't recognize. Oops, it's a cat! (Don't judge me because my cupboard is messy. It's part of my charm.)

January 21 -- Ice fishing

2010-01-21T19:41:00.000-08:00

Mr X took this picture for me today for my picture of the day! Of course, I wasn't there, it being a Thursday. He's been taking the dogs out to Murray Lake this week in the mornings (he's working nights) and Charlotte just loves it. Puddy stays in the truck like a girl most of the time because he doesn't like cold (never mind that it's not even cold -- it was about -3 today).

January 20 -- Warm winter's night

2010-01-20T20:41:00.001-08:00

The balmy weather continues. I just took Charlotte out for her last pit stop of the night, and it's not only warm out but the sky is giving off a lot of light, too. I almost felt like having a campout. Instead, I took a picture of the trees in front of our house. It doesn't show how cool and spooky it looks out there, because my camera cost less than $200, so you'll have to trust me: It looks really cool and spooky out there.

January 19 -- Little Bear

2010-01-19T20:33:00.000-08:00

Mitchie and I went to the movies tonight (Lovely Bones), but before we left we had to get an up-to-date picture of Willow (aka Little Bear, aka Sasha Fierce!). She's doing very well and she is just about the cutest little munchkin ever.

January 18th -- Dinner!

2010-01-18T19:47:00.000-08:00

When I have nothing interesting to post, I shall post food. This was my dinner tonight -- Greek Avgolemono Soup. Saute some leeks, carrots, onion, add tiny pieces of pasta (in lieu of orzo, which I do not have) and vegetable stock, carefully mix in an egg and lemon juice, top off with oregano and parsley. Add cheese toast and a glass of wine and it's dinner! It was really yummy!

January 18 -- Bonus pic. ..Remember when?

2010-01-18T19:40:00.000-08:00

This is when Carson was a newborn, December, 2007. It's amazing how much they have changed already! Chaeli's adorable outfit was from Cousin Mandy!

January 17 -- Berries

2010-01-17T20:56:00.000-08:00

Our neighbour's tree overhangs into our yard. There was some beautiful hoarfrost on these berries a couple of days ago, but it melted off before I could get a picture. This morning it was about -8, so I caught them frozen, anyway. It has been ridiculously beautiful this month so far -- and February is just a week and a bit away. What a lovely winter -- and we deserve it after last winter!

January 16 -- Chaeli

2010-01-17T08:27:00.000-08:00

Chaeli stayed over tonight and played lots of computer games. That's the big thing now and, sadly, it seems to have replaced painting. Here she is in full concentration.

January 15 -- Willow comes to visit

2010-01-15T20:17:00.001-08:00

We are fostering a sick little puppy for the shelter for awhile -- she just arrived today. I don't know how people can dump little puppies, especially in the winter, but thank goodness someone found her in time to give her a chance. She's a sweetheart!

January 14 -- Double the trouble...

2010-01-14T19:03:00.000-08:00

...double the fun! Orange cats have always been my favorite because they are especially chatty and interactive, not to mention very handsome. I am lucky enough to have two orange cats, and here they are enjoying their breakfast this morning. On the left, Orange; on the right, Weezie-bag.

January 13 -- Looking back

2010-01-13T19:15:00.000-08:00

Bluesky, Alberta, circa 1965. I'm the little girl closest to the center of the pictures. How far we've come.

January 12 -- The Torch Run

2010-01-12T20:03:00.000-08:00

The Torch Run went right by my office, so I took my camera to work so I could get a picture of the torch run for my blog entry today. I'm not a big Olympics fan (and even less of a torch fan) and I feel like a bit of a groupie posting this, but, hey: It's something I saw today and that's what this is all about, right?

January 11 -- Let's talk about the weather

2010-01-11T18:57:00.000-08:00

It's so beautiful outside these days. Today it was melting, and it's still gorgeous tonight. The dogs were just out sniffing around in the backyard, enjoying being outside and not freezing. I think they discovered some yellow snow.

January 10 -- No pain no gain

2010-01-10T19:49:00.000-08:00

This is my Torture Chamber downstairs. I love it, actually, once I'm down there. Also, I must give a shout-out to my fabulous sister, Donna, who is having a birthday today! I love you, Sistah!

January 9 -- Saskatoon

2010-01-09T19:48:00.000-08:00

We went in to Saskatoon today for a bit of shopping. It's just over an hour away from where we live and it is the sweetest little city -- I love it. Here's a picture of downtown, on our way to Lululemon.

January 8 -- Newest one in the family

2010-01-08T20:21:00.000-08:00

This is Wheezer, (Weaso, Weezie-Bag) our newest cat. He came to live with us in late November and we all love him. How could we not -- look at that face! :) The picture doesn't really do him justice -- he's huge, chatty, cuddly and SO handsome!

January 7 - - My day job

2010-01-07T19:49:00.000-08:00

This is where I hang out when I'm not at home: My tiny but beautiful office!

January 6 -- Winter in Saskatch

2010-01-06T19:48:00.001-08:00

Block Heater = not optional. It feels like absolute zero out there tonight.

January 5, 2010 -- Comfort food!

2010-01-05T18:59:00.000-08:00

Cooking up my favorite comfort food -- spicy lentils with whole grain rice and tomatoes. Mr X won't eat it, but I love it more than anything. Yum -- leftovers all week!

January 4, 2010 -- Cozy Toesies

2010-01-04T19:54:00.000-08:00

I got new slippies from my sweet mother-in-law for Christmas this weekend. My feet are so toasty. It makes me laugh to see my feet wearing pink -- I feel so girlie!

January 3 -- 2010: A skidoo ride

2010-01-03T19:06:00.000-08:00

See that field on the other side of the river? I want to go there.

January 2, 2010 -- Going to White Fox

2010-01-03T19:02:00.000-08:00

We pass a sled dog race on our way to White Fox. I tried to get a picture of the sled part, but they move so fast I'm lucky to have caught them at all.

2010 in Pictures

2010-01-01T18:35:00.000-08:00

I'm going to try to keep a diary with pictures this year. There's an idea floating around (Project 365?) wherein one posts a pic on a blog every day of the year as a way of remembering the year. I don't think I'll manage to be disciplined enough to do it every day, but here's Day 1: I shall call it "Staying Home Today".

Party like it's 2010!

2010-01-01T17:04:00.000-08:00

Another new year! Seems like as good a time as any to write something on here.

This has been a very good year -- enough fun little things to keep me amused, which is all I really ask for. Some highlights:

Mom's birthday in June -- spending a fun weekend with siblings, Aunties and Uncle and some cousins. Staying with Jo and Donna on our way out was especially awesome!

Back to Edmonton for Jo's birthday the following weekend.

Carlton Trail Jamboree in July with some of Mr X's family and Mitchie and Mark. The weather was awesome (a rarity this summer!) and the music was fun, but mostly it was great seeing Mr X's parents in a lazy, relaxed atmosphere for a change, and cooking fun stuff with Mitchie!

Camping a few times with Chaeli and our dogs. We didn't go far, but we discovered some really cool regional campgrounds nearby.

August was Uncle Bob's funeral. We lost a very special family patriarch, but his funeral was such a beautiful celebration and I'm so glad I was able to go. I have the best family and I'm slowly discovering branches of the family that I didn't know well enough growing up. It was also good to spend a bit of time with a few of my brothers again.

August also took Mitchie and me back to Alberta for an annual camping weekend with some special people. This might be the highlight of my 2009 summer -- it was so much fun!

September was my birthday -- a big one for me -- and I was appropriately spoiled! My sister Donna treated me to a Calgary dream weekend -- shopping (Brent supplied the funding for this as my birthday pressie!), lots of wine, amazing dining experiences, and a fancy car hauling us around town on our big night out. The only bad thing about it is that now I will want to do the same thing every year. :p

September also brought a bit of a career change for me. I moved over with one of the lawyers I have been with since 2000 to his new office on the 1st. It was a very good move for me -- even though I enjoyed my last office, this is just dreamy. It's nice to do some real estate, but lots of other things as well, even some bookkeeping. I love it.

Nyk changed careers in September, too, and is now the manager of the local animal shelter. It's been such a great experience for her so far. I hope she loves it enough to stay there for a long time, because we love helping her out from time to time with fun animal projects!

Mr X is working in town this year, too, which is a big change. It's been awesome having him around every day, and starting this week he now has every weekend off. Just like normal people, whoot!

Of course, the kids and grandkids are the highlight of my life and I am SO happy that we are all here. Michelle and I put lots of miles on her car again this year, making road trips to wherever, and I get to see lots of Nyk and the kids because they just live up the street. Heavenly!

Healthwise, we have all had a great year. I, of course, attribute my good health to my veggie diet, but we've all done well, for which I am so, so thankful.

I'm looking forward to seeing what is in store for us in 2010.

Another season, another blog post

2009-07-30T19:47:00.000-07:00

I am the world's worst blogger. It's official.

My life is just filled with too much excitement -- who has time to compose blog entries? Well, yeah, I have nothing but time. I just don't have anything interesting to talk about.

I'm watching an Eskimos football game by myself at the moment (I don't even see any animals in the room. Other than the dragon who is, as always, a captive audience). My beloveds are winning so it's especially enjoyable. The current fumble in Montreal's favour promises to be the TSN turning point, though, so my joy may be abated a bit in the next quarter or so.

We've had a lovely summer so far -- lots of time spent with the kids in the paddling pool and a couple of small outings in the camper. Chaeli is such a fun companion now at 4.5 and Carson is tonnes o' fun this year, too. Miles was in Saskatoon yesterday and today and Nyk worked early so I had the kids from about 6am until I took them to daycare on my way to work. I don't know how people do that every day -- my house looked like a cyclone had passed through both days and my hair was doing the "casual" look for a change. They're so cute, though. It's actually a nice way to start the day.

Chaeli is in the "questions" phase right now. A couple of weeks ago she was asking me what is inside our bodies. I told her bones, and muscles, and blood (she said, "ew. blood!") and a heart...and she said, "Yes, we have a heart inside. And if it breaks you cry and cry". I thought it was the cutest thing ever, so I told Nyk about it. She asked Chaeli what happens if your heart breaks and she said, "You fall to the ground and you cry!". Ah, the influence of the Disney princesses, I expect.

I have some changes coming at work very soon that I'm kind of nervous/excited about. I think it's a good move for me, but I'm nervous about it at the same time. I'm hoping to make the announcement tomorrow, so I'll be able to talk about it a bit more freely. It's really been weighing on me so it will be nice to have it all settled. I've been there going on 9 years, so I've become quite used to my routine. I think a change is due. I hope.

Speaking of change, I decided, after years of considering it, to start using my maiden name again. My last name is a two-parter now, and it feels AMAZING to be myself again. I honestly don't know why I didn't do this a long time ago. Changing ones name in the first place is the oddest concept to me. I'm really not sure why we do that. People have been asking me if I'm related to the Youngs in X or the Rudds in Y for years now and of course I wasn't. If you ask me if I'm related to the Stauffers in X or Y I probably am. Anyway, good to be back. Wonder why it took me so long.

Still doing the vegetarian thing, still lovin' it. This is also something I've been working toward for years and it is a good fit for me. I subscribed to a Veggie magazine online and I can hardly wait until it starts showing up in my mailbox. I never have trouble finding fun stuff to eat, but one can always use more ideas.

Well, I'm making another valiant attempt at playing guitar in the evenings again. I always say I'm going to get my fingers conditioned by the summer so I can play when we go camping and other places, but my fingers get sore and I drop it again. I'm determined to do it this time, and I hope to do a bit of writing again. We'll see. Maybe if I write it here I'll inspire myself. Time will tell...

Spring is here! Spring is here!

2009-05-03T17:52:00.000-07:00

After the most brutal winter on the Saskatchewan record books, I am happy to report we all survived and it seems to be behind us. Global warming is a cruel, cruel irony and I'm going to tell Al Gore next time I see him that I'm rethinking the whole theory.

Anyway, it's May now and everything is finally starting to turn green and the local population has emitted a collective sigh. We have had tulips peeking through for a couple of weeks now, soon to be blooming, and I'm even happy to see the dandelions so Andre can eat those instead of me paying $2 for a bunch at Sobey's every week. Today I'm wearing flip-flops, capris and a t-shirt and I don't plan to take them off for at least 5 months.

Life has not been boring around here since I last blogged. Poor little Carson had a two-night stay at the hospital recently; a nasty bout of pneumonia. He seems to be doing much better, thank goodness -- I even took him to the playground for a bit of fresh air today because it was so beautiful. He is such a talker -- every time I see him he seems to be coming up with new words to astound his Mima. What a little sweetie!

Chaeli has been sick on and off, too, and wasn't able to start soccer last week because it was such a cool, windy night and she was hanging on to a nasty cough. Hopefully she'll be able to play this week -- I think she will love it!

Mr X is working in town for a change. It's so nice that he doesn't have to travel at all, and he gets lots of days off so we've been able to do some renos and yard work already. This is going to be a wonderful summer if he manages to be around every day! I can hardly wait to get our camper on the road. Chaeli is going to be such a fun camping companion this year. Maybe we'll even get her in the boat -- she's been too scared up until now, which is just fine with me. I'm not much of a boat fan, either, but Mr X is dying to take her fishing with him.

Mr X's 19-year-old sister, Melanie, is moving in with us for the summer, starting tonight. I'm excited about having her here, even though she has an out-of-town boyfriend that will likely consume most of her free time.

I have a tattoo appointment booked for next Saturday -- not too sure what I'm getting, but it's going to be an add-on to the one I already have. I'm really excited!

I'm still discovering new and delicious meat-free recipes and I'm going to put another one in here. It's a handy place for me to keep recipes, I've discovered. I made this one for the first time last night -- it is just amazing and I think it's going to be a staple around here.

Quinoa & Chickpea Salad

* 1 cup quinoa
* dash of salt
* 1 3/4 cups water
* 1 or 2 TBLSP olive oil
* 2 cloves garlic, minced
* 1/2 onion, chopped
* 1 cup canned garbanzo beans (chickpeas), drained
* 3 TBLSP lime juice
* 1/2 teaspoon garam masala
* salt and pepper to taste
* chopped tomatoes and cucumbers, about 1/2 cup of each
* thai-style hot sauce (I use the M&M brand -- it's our favorite!)

1. Place the quinoa in a fine mesh strainer, and rinse under cold, running water. Bring the quinoa, salt, and water to a boil in a saucepan. Reduce heat to medium-low, cover, and simmer until the quinoa is tender, 20 to 25 minutes.
2. While the quinoa cooks, saute chopped garlic and onion in the olive oil until soft. Salt and pepper as desired.
3. Mix cooked quinoa with the garlic mixture, stir in the garbanzo beans, cumin and lime juice. Chill in the fridge until ready to serve.
Serve cold with chopped tomatoes and cucumbers, top with thai hot sauce. Enjoy!
(I think this might be good with tzaziki sauce instead of the thai sauce. I'll try it someday and update if it's any good.)

Earth to the Sun: Did you forget about Canada?

2009-03-25T21:03:00.001-07:00

Gah. March 25th and it's still dead-of-winter here. We get tiny glimpses of the possibility of Spring, but by the weekend they get blown away in yet another North wind and we're back to plugging the car in at night for a few days.

I tried on my pretty brown Nine West suede pumps today, paraded them in front of the mirror, thought briefly about the curling rink that is the parking lot at my office (the result of an ice storm last weekend that hasn't yet had a chance to thaw), took them off and put them back in the closet. We'll try again next month, perhaps.

Oh, this gets good here: I decided to wear my beloved tan suede boots that I found on ebay a couple of years ago -- four-inch heels, round toe with a strap and a buckle across the toe (reminiscent of the confederate boots from back in the day but way cuter) -- a nice compromise until I can actually wear pretty shoes outside. I get to the front hall closet where all of my boots live and discovered that Mr X's large brown dog had just finished PEEING ALL OVER MY BEAUTIFUL BOOTS. And my tall black boots too, which I don't particularly love, but for the love of all things girlie, what the hell? Why my boots? It's still winter here, Puddy. People need to wear those boots, huh?

So, we'll see what a morning soaking in water, followed by a vinegar scrub in the afternoon, does to my sweet, sweet tan suede boots. I don't have much hope, unfortunately, but I WILL fight for them, damn it. They are so very pretty.

I still love the dog, though. He keeps me safe and that is worth something. MY dog doesn't wreck anything, though. She respects my things, now that she's a civilized dog. Her only downside is that she can't be trusted to go out in the yard by herself or she soars over our five-foot fence and lopes around the neighbourhood. So, if she needs to go out, be it three o'clock in the morning in the middle of a thunderstorm or whenever, I have to go with her. But: she does not pee on my boots. Ever.

A whole new look at food

2009-03-01T17:16:00.000-08:00

I haven't said much about it to anyone because I wanted to see how it would go, but two months in I have to say it's going very well so far.

I have gradually been cutting meat products out of my life, ending with mostly just seafood/salmon at the end of last year. Since the New Year, I have been completely meat-free, though I still eat dairy and eggs. I have discovered, and re-discovered, all kinds of delicious alternatives. Mr X works out of town most of the time so I've been free to try anything I want without anyone "ewwwwwing" me. Actually, Mr X has been very supportive when he is home and has even tried a few of my concoctions. Eating out isn't a concern for me, since I have only eaten out once in 2 months, hahaa, and it was easy to find a yummy meatless dish even at Humpty's.

I feel absolutely fantastic -- lots of energy and I never feel hungry (or too stuffed) after a meal, and I'm having so much fun in the kitchen. I expect to miss turkey and shrimp someday, but it hasn't happened yet. I'm too busy having fun deciding what to cook next from my new selection of recipes (online and actual cookbooks).

Some of my faves:
-Lentils (cooked with lots of onion, garlic and spices, served on brown rice with canned diced tomatoes)
-Baked potato smothered with canned beans, sour cream and steamed broccoli
-Quinoa, stir-fried in olive oil with loads of veggies
-Pasta, pasta, pasta, in cream sauce, tomato sauce, sauted in olive oil with herbs and parmesan, etc., etc., etc.
-Avocados. Oh, my. I forgot how much I love avocado.
-Yves garden veggie burgers, tacos made with Schneiders meatless ground "beef"
-Yogurt mixed with muesli -- so glad I have rekindled my love of the yog
-Portabello mushrooms in pretty much everything
-Bread dipped in olive oil and balsamic vinegar
-Trail mix with almonds and dried fruit

This is my new favorite recipe, which I made for the first time tonight. Brent is going to love this one:
Roasted Vegetable Ratatouille with Pasta
Ingredients:
1 chopped onion
1 diced Sicilian eggplant
4 cups diced zucchini
1 diced red pepper
3-4 cups quartered plum tomatoes
4 cloves chopped garlic
3 tbsp chopped fresh basil
2 tbsp chopped fresh thyme
2 tbsp chopped fresh oregano
salt and pepper
1 tbsp Dijon mustard
1/3 cup olive oil
1 lb penne pasta
1/4 cup chopped parsley
grated pecorino/parmesan cheese

-Preheat oven to 400
-Combine all vegetables, garlic, herbs, salt and pepper in a large bowl.
-Whisk together mustard and oil and toss with vegetables.
-Spread vegetables on a large baking pan and bake for 50 minutes, stirring after 30 minutes, until vegetables are tender and slightly browned but not soupy.
-Meanwhile, cook penne, reserving a little cooking water.
-Toss pasta with vegetable mixture, thinning with reserved water if needed.
-Add parsley and sprinkle with cheese.

I didn't have any zucchini on hand (but it kills me that I DID have eggplant on hand, hah) so I used diced portabello mushrooms instead. I also threw in a bunch of baby carrots because I love roasted carrots. Honestly, this is SO good.

So, I'm open to suggestions from you seasoned vegetarians out there...Mandy? :D

Carson owes me one

2009-02-16T18:38:00.000-08:00

Well, not just Carson, but he was the immediate benefactor. We were babysitting this afternoon (Mr X, Mitchie and I) and minutes before Daddy was due home, Carson blew the stinkiest diarrhea diaper I have ever experienced. Ho-olah! I waited a few minutes to see if anything else was going to happen (Mitchie and Mr X were like, eeeeewwwwww! Make it stop!) then I ran him upstairs to his room to give him a change. He was just happy as a clam, singing and talking while I changed him, so it wasn't really all that bad. :P

It's been a lovely weekend -- Family Day, so we had today off, too. On Saturday I had Chaeli for a few hours. We went to the mall to buy her a Valentine present, then picked up some McD's for her lunch (Mima, I'm So HUNGRY!) and went over to Auntie Mitchie's for a visit. Then we went to DQ to see Mommy at her new job and had a sundae, then we came home and hung out for awhile until Nyk was finished for the day.

Yesterday I didn't do too much -- took Puddy out for his birthday burger (he's 7!) and did some much-needed housework. It was a nice, lazy day.

Today Mr X came home just for a few hours, to do some laundry and to touch base since we haven't seen him in awhile. He went with me to Nyk's to watch the kids for a few hours, then we had a quick dinner then he headed back to work. We all feel a little robbed -- it would have been lovely to have had him here longer. :(

Tomorrow it's back to work again. I've been SO busy lately, but that's partly because we're down to about half-staff because of holidays and sick-leave. Things are still kind of weird around there but I'm pretending it's all fine for now.

Mitchie was called for jury duty last week -- that was exciting! She wasn't selected, though -- they had enough for a jury before they got to her (nice to be a Y sometimes, hah), but she has to go back for another jury selection next month. Kind of crazy -- she had to take an entire morning off, and for her trouble the Court saw fit to mail her a cheque for $5.00. Kind of hilarious, but mostly another example of our tax dollars hard at work.

So, now we're half way through February. One more month and we'll be looking at Spring. I'm getting so excited about planting flowers again when the snow finally melts! We enjoyed our flower and veggie gardens so much last year. I've also been really bad about composting this winter (just TOO cold to be messing around outside more than necessary!) so I'll be happy to get back into that. My composter was so nice and steamy last year, so I hope it doesn't take too long to start cooking again in the Spring.

And so begins 2009 ...

2009-01-22T19:45:00.000-08:00

This has been the coldest winter on record since, like forever. 70 years or something ridiculous like that. It doesn't really bother me, but it does add to the doldrums that everyone seems to feel this time of year.

We've had a bit of a rollercoaster going on here over the past month or so. Nyckee and Miles sold their house shortly after listing it just after the new year. The purchaser wanted a possession date of January 27th, so the pressure was on to find a new place. It's not my story so I won't tell it here, but it was one disappointment after another -- lost a couple of houses to bids that came in before theirs, failed inspections, and so on. The last one they bid on was perfect in every way and it looked like it was theirs. We tried so hard not to get excited, but in the end someone else had beat them to it. With one week to go until move-out day.

Anyway, joy of joys, they managed to find one (not as perfect as the perfect house, but still a good house) just a couple of blocks from our house! And they can move in on the 27th, provided all the financing and stuff can be processed by then! It's less than a kilometre from our house, with a big park/field between us. It's close to many good schools, which is perfect because Chaeli will be starting school soon. Just a huge relief all 'round!

For me, I've had a couple of work issues that I can't talk about that have been weighing very heavily on me. It's going to be awhile before I figure all of that out, but I know it will all be okay in the end. It's just the middle that's kind of screwy and 3:00am seems to be prime time for me to start thinking about it all. :P

Mr X is working back at Meadow Lake, so he's home usually for a couple of days each week. We still have some stuff going on with his previous job that is driving me batty, but Alberta Labour is involved now and I hope we can get it resolved. That's also been stressing me out but I'm working at just letting it go for now.

I've been having a real struggle, through all of this stuff, with the concept of prayer. If anyone can enlighten me, I'd sure appreciate it. I'm torn with the whole idea of praying for something specific or just throwing up my hands and saying, "Fix this, please!". The Bible says things like a) you have not because you ask not; and b)ask and it shall be given you... but then, on the other hand, we are reminded that we need to ask for His will because we have no idea, usually, what is best for us. Oh, then there's the Free Will concept (yes, I just read The Shack) but that's confusing when it's a given that our will is often completely misguided and we'd all be better off following a Plan.

Anyway, the biggest problem I have with praying is that, compared to millions of people in so many parts of the world, I have it pretty darn sweet, no matter what my concerns may be. Why should He even be concerned about my job issues, for example, when people in Kabul have lost their freedom, their limbs, their children, their homes -- and here am I, living in opulence with everything I could ever possibly need, complaining? How arrogant to even approach God with a whine when He is seeing the other stuff that's actually really bad. Those people matter every bit as much as I do, and they sure do need God's help more immediately.

Deep, very deep stuff for a Thursday in January.

Apres Christmas...

2008-12-27T20:14:00.000-08:00

Another Christmas in the bag. It was a good one, for the most part. Chaeli and Carson were perfectly adorable and we had some great times with family -- Michelle and Mark, Nyckee and Miles, Janna and Steve, and Brent's family, so that's all we could really ask for! I'll come back to post more about our holidays in another post, when I'm feeling more energetic.

The day before Christmas Eve was a tough one, though. We lost our precious Cadillac after a very brief illness. He started acting sick on Sunday, the 21st, while we were having our family Christmas. I was going to take him to the vet on Monday, but he seemed to be improving so I thought I'd just keep an eye on him for a couple of days. By Monday night, though, he'd completely lost his energy and just seemed to want to sleep.

I called the vet first thing Tuesday morning and took him down to get him checked out. He was awake but very lethargic. I held him in a blanket while we waited and petted his huge round head and adorable giant paws and told him not to be scared. The vet said his bladder was blocked (poor Caddy!) but it could be easily remedied by putting him under and draining his bladder. Once they had him comfortable they'd figure out what the next steps would be. He said there were risks and that Caddy was, at the moment, quite sick, but there was no reason to believe he wasn't going to be okay by Christmas.

By 1:30pm when the vet called me back Caddy was gone. His heart stopped when they put him under and they were unable to save him. We knew he wasn't the healthiest cat at the best of times, but we sure weren't ready to lose him already. :( He was so huge and cuddly and sweet and dumb and gentle, and I am going to miss him so very much.

I feel so horribly guilty about not taking him in on Monday. The vet said it wouldn't have made any difference to the outcome, but I still could have saved him a day of suffering, if nothing else. I just didn't realize how sick he really was and I was SO sure he seemed a little better. Cats just don't die when they're three and a half years old. He had such a nice, peaceful life and always knew love. I guess that's a good thing.

Mr X felt so bad for me that he surprised me by going to the shelter and picking out another cat for me for Christmas. He and Nyk went in and asked for the cuddliest cat in the shelter. So now Holly is part of our family and it's easy to see already that she is a very special little girl.

The picture above was taken during a rare show of affection by Lazee, our old cat who died last year, giving Caddy a nice bit of love. As Miles says, they're together again, having a snuggle wherever it is cats go after they leave us.

RIP, little Caddy. You were such a wonderful little friend.

Emotional overload days again

2008-12-04T16:05:00.001-08:00

Ross Kleman. There's a name I'll never forget.

Just a smallish average-looking man, inconspicuous, probably forgettable in ordinary circumstances. But these are no ordinary circumstances.

Yesterday Ross was arrested, and today charged with the first-degree murder of our precious Emily.

And now, though uninvited, and most certainly unwelcome, Ross is inextricably interwoven into the fabric of our family as the person who decided that 14 years was long enough for us to enjoy the beauty of Emily, that Emily didn't need to have the children she was eventually hoping to have, that her parents didn't need to hear the music of her voice and her talents anymore, that August 10th, 2008 was the last chance her Stauffer aunties, uncles and cousins would have to see her smile.

After so many weeks of having the horrifying picture pass through my consciousness of Emily being jumped, beaten, strangled, there is now an image to affix to the previously blurry face of the attacker. Oddly, he doesn't look like the monster I would have expected.

I understand the system and I know Ross has not yet been proven guilty nor has he, to my knowledge, acknowledged guilt. Who knows what the next weeks or years will reveal. I do have a lot of faith in the RCMP who are involved with this case though, because I've seen with my own eyes the grief they were experiencing and the resolve they had to do this up right, so I trust that they have charged the right guy.

I can't even imagine what these days are like for Emily's parents, or, on the other side of the coin, for Ross' wife and extended family. Is there an explanation for this? What in the hell compelled him to do such a thing -- he looks normal, he claims to love God, wants to "help people". How could he act so normal and remorseless, living in a tight community turned upside down by his own hands? Has he done it before? Did he even really do it this time or is it all a horrible mistake?

How can this even really be happening? When does life ever become normal again?

Kids say the darndest things!

2008-11-27T20:31:00.000-08:00

Nyk brought Chaeli to my office today to help us decorate for Christmas. Last year, Nyckee was in the hospital trying to have a baby, and I was on Chaeli-duty so she helped us decorate; my coworkers thought it would be fun to have her back this year.

When one of the ladies asked if she was going to help decorate the tree, she said, "Yes, and I'll help put the ribbons up high and higher!" We have a long winding staircase in my office and yes, sure enough, last year she helped a couple of my coworkers put big red bows up on the railing. I thought it was so clever -- she was only 2 last year when she helped us decorate, but she totally remembered.

They had to leave before we were finished decorating, but since her destination was school, Nyk had no problem getting her out the door. On her way out she stopped and waved and shouted, "Goodbye, everybody!" Hahaa, such a little superstar.

Tonight I was watching TV, a cartoon kind of show, with Nyk and the kids. The characters were watching fish through a hole in the ice -- there were 4 or 5 fish swimming back and forth. Chaeli said, "What is that?" I said, "It's fish!". She said, "No, it's not fish. It's five...it's seven...(Nyk and I looked at each other blankly)...it's trouw!" I said, "Trout?" and she said, "Yes! It's trout!" And I think it actually was supposed to be rainbow trout. Nyk said, "Trout are fish, too" and Chaeli said, "No, trout are not fish -- trout are trout." Who knows where that one came from, hah!

Other notable mentions from today:
Blu-dough instead of Rudolph. Don't know why, but she says Blu-dough every time until someone corrects her then she says, "Yeah, Rudolph".

Lawyers! When we were having pizza in the boardroom at work today, Chaeli noticed some pictures on the walls of 19th century lawyers gathering around a table, deep in discussion. She said, "Everybody is sitting at the table. They're eating!" I said, "Maybe, but I think they're talking. It's lawyers!" But I said lawyers kind of creepily like most people do. Later, she was talking about something else and she said, "Lawyers!" like it was almost a swearword. Hahaa, how early they learn. :P

Lastly, and it's not incredibly clever, probably, but it seems it to me -- one of the ladies asked how old she is. She downed a drink of juice, looked right at the questioner and said, "Three!". Oh, so very clever! I just love her! :)

November 24, still no snow (yipee!)

2008-11-24T18:31:00.000-08:00

This has been the best Autumn so far! I could do quite nicely without snow this year. It's been quite warm too, and tomorrow is supposed to be above zero again. A big thank you to my niece and her husband for moving here from BC and bringing their lovely weather with them. :)

It's been busy around here lately! Mitchie and I went to Edson last weekend for a whirlwind trip (gone for 36 hours, 12 of them on the highway) and we had so much fun! We went to see my mum and my brother and his family, and also to go to a benefit concert for a music scholarship in Emily's name. It was such an awesome weekend!

We had a nice visit with Mum then went to T and J's for supper on Saturday. We had a great time and enjoyed the kids so much (though it was really hard to be there without seeing Emily). The concert was a lot of fun, too. We sat at a big table with T and J and got to know some of their awesome church people at the beginning of the night. After they left, we made some new friends (Mitchie is the BEST person to go to something like that with -- she makes friends instantly!) and stayed until the end. The band people, whom we befriended, asked us to the after-party (sounds so racy, but they're all middle-aged, happily married nice people!) but we graciously declined. It was 3am our time and we had to get up in a few hours! We were so impressed with the Edson people once again. They are really a good bunch.

Sunday we went to T's church with Mum and met up with our friends from the night before. T is such a good speaker -- I wish we could go every Sunday. Then a quick lunch with Mum, and back on the road. We stopped in Edmonton for a coffee with Mr X (he's working there right now, in the City of my heart!) and got home by 10pm feeling all warm and fuzzy from the awesome weekend.

This past weekend Mr X was home for a few days, which was lovely, but he's gone again and the house feels quite empty even with all my four-legged family around me. I sure wish he could be here more -- he's so much fun. wah, poor me.

Work has been stressful for me lately, blech, and I'm a bit grumbly these days. I'm missing Nyk a lot now that she's back at work -- she used to come over for a long walk every night and she'd bring the kids over at lunch for a little visit, so I'm really feeling out of the loop nowadays. She works 3 to 11pm most nights, so I don't get to see them nearly enough. wah, poor me again.

Mitchie is awesome, though. She takes good care of me! She's a busy chickie, though, and I don't want to whine about not seeing her enough or she'll rearrange her life to accommodate me, hah. I think I need a hobby. Actually, Nyk and I are going to a scrapbooking workshop in a couple of weeks (she's been making the most amazing cards!) so that might be just what I need!

I popped by Nyk's house to see the kids at lunch today. She just cut Carson's hair and he looks so adorable! He looks like a boy instead of a baby now, but he's so tiny so it's the cutest thing! awwww! He's standing on his own now, so walking can't be far away. He turns one in a couple of weeks -- I can hardly believe it!

I bought a new book today, called The Shack (I think), so I'm going to pack it in early tonight to try to shake this headache that has been following me around -- it's always fun to go to bed early with a new book. I lead such an interesting life, heh!

Another satisfying week in the bag

2008-11-09T16:21:00.000-08:00

This has been a really good week, all things considered.

On Tuesday, Barack Obama won the US presidential election. Why do I, a proud Canadian, care? Well, any US election affects Canada, but this one was especially sweet. First, the Democrats are back in. That's a good thing for a lot of reasons. I wonder what the state of the world would be right now if Al Gore had won in 2000? No one knows for sure, but I think it's safe to say we wouldn't have lost close to 100 Canadians in the Middle East by now. And how many US soldiers dead, injured, or otherwise changed forever, not to mention the virtual destruction of Iraq and her people? Would the US economy be in the toilet right now if there had been a more responsible administration at the helm for the past 8 years? (Where is G Dubya, anyway? Has anyone seen him lately?)

Of course, we don't know yet what kind of a President Omaba will be, but he seems to be a brilliant man with a conscience and an uncanny ability to surround himself with the right people. He wasn't brought up in a wealthy, privileged home yet he has made it to the top seat in the land (arguably the world). I think he's there for the right reasons and I think, as hard as his job will be, that he will bring some positive changes to the White House (and a puppy!).

But one of the most exciting things about this win is that the American people have voted in a black guy. A black guy in the Oval Office.

What must this mean to the Little Rock Nine, a group of brave African American kids who stood up against hate at its ugliest and fought through crowds of angry white people for their newly-won right to attend a public high school in the late 50s. They actually brought the National Guard to stop the kids -- that's how much the State of Arkansas didn't want to end segregation. The Federal government finally stepped in and, with the help of the 101st Airborne division of the US military, the kids were able to enter the school. The hate against these brave teenagers, just trying to get an education, was so strong. Where did they find that kind of bravery?

What must this mean for every black American who remembers the days prior to JFK's Civil Rights Act of 1964, when they couldn't even vote. (1964, if you can believe it -- that's so recent!) For everyone who sang "we shall overcome", the day is here. Civil rights at its finest. Oh, there is still hate, racism won't disappear in our lifetime (if ever), but there is a voice in the White House for racial equality that cannot be ignored. I can't imagine what this means to the black community who have fought so hard and so long to be heard.

God Bless America. It is a beautiful day.

Then, as if that wasn't enough for one week, the mighty Edmonton Eskimos made it into the second round of playoffs yesterday. I can't believe it, but I love it!

And today Mitchie and I went to church and out for brunch, and then Chaeli and I went to the movies.

I can't stop smiling today. It's been a really, really terrific week.

I went to sleep at 9:30 last night

2008-11-04T17:43:00.000-08:00

And that's not the worst of it: I actually went to bed at about 9:00, read for a bit and totally fell asleep by 9:30. Slept like Rip Van until 6:30am when the radio came on. What's up with that? I don't actually ever DO anything -- how can I possibly be so sleepy?

I feel like a million bucks today, though. I must have needed it. I just might do it again tonight. We'll see how Obama is doing at 9, then I'll decide if my book and pillow will trump the most important election outcome in decades. Right now my money is on the book.

Chaeli came home from her monthly visit with her other dad (well, to my house, actually) last night. Right after she got here she found one of her toys -- a small plastic monster that had a blue light in his eye -- chewed up by a dog or dogs (could have been any of them or all of them). She was really tired, actually sleeping when she got here, so it was a bit of a bigger deal than it probably should have been since she hasn't ever liked that toy since the first day she saw it. Right away she figured out that I should buy her a new one. I needed to take her home anyway, so it seemed like a good way to get her in my car to go home -- a quick stop at Walmart to pick up a new monster.

Somewhere on the 5-minute drive to the store, the need for a replacement monster turned into the need for a new PetShop toy -- Chaeli's favorite collectable toys. That was okay with me; monsters are overrated. It didn't take long to pick the one she wanted because it was one of the few she doesn't already have. When we were waiting in the lineup to pay, a nice lady in front of us turned around and commented on cute, adorable, sweet Chaeli's cool new toy.

Chaeli gave her the raspberry. pppppffffftttt. We (nice lady and me) were like, wha?

Chaeli said, "I spit at her. She wanted to take my toy and give it to her girl." (Hey, not my kid. Just here with her. I don't teach her this stuff. heh) It was actually kind of hilarious. It sounds awful, but it wasn't. It was funny in a Coen Brothers kind of way because she's usually so sweet and gentle and smiley. We talked about it all the way home, how it wasn't nice to spit and why we don't spit at other people. She understood, she agreed, and as we were going into her house she decided it was only okay to spit at people outside.

Then I knew where it came from. Pre-school. Pirates in the playground. Monsters under the slides. Chaeli Power. Hammers in pockets (fake hammers)to "hit" the boys. Boys. I shiver at the thought of small boys in playgrounds. But I think she will be able to hold her own. Being sweet and smiley isn't always all it's cracked up to be. You have to have a little bit of chutzpa when the occasion calls for it, or the bullies will win. She's going to be okay, and I'm glad she has a bit of a feisty edge when she needs it. I just hope the nice lady understands it was nothing personal.

Now about this Carson guy...

2008-11-02T07:20:00.000-08:00

I talk about our Chaeli all the time because she's three and a half and has lots of interesting things to say and do in her busy life.

Today it's all about Carson. Almost 11 months old, about two feet tall, weighing in at around 20 pounds, eight shiny white teeth and just about as cool as Matt Damon. Really. This guy has it all. He's cute, funny, determined, unpredictable and has nerves of steel. Observe the picture above: He's calmly running commentary on whatever it is he's watching on TV, while not one but two dogs are waiting for him to share a piece of his bread with them (which he may or may not do depending on how much he's enjoying said bread) and he's covered with purple freezie which he managed to break into himself after I gave him an unopened one.

I've always loved Carson, of course, but it's just lately that I've begun to realize what a rockstar he really is. I was always a bit scared to be alone with him for too long because he's still being breastfed and, as a result, likes his mom quite a bit more than he likes the rest of us (added to my lifelong fear of babies in general). But lately he's had us all amazed by his go-with-the-flow independence.

Nyk has started work again, so the village (Miles' mom and grandparents, and Mr X and I) has kicked in to help out with the kids around Nyk and Miles' work schedules, thereby avoiding daycare issues. Yesterday Mr X and I were on duty for a couple of hours. Chaeli was, of course, no problem at all, but we were a bit worried about what Carson would think of us when he woke up from his nap. What a trooper he is. He looked totally surprised to see me when I went in to pick him up but he was just fine. We played, he drank juice, ate crackers and kleenex, we bonded. I am no longer afraid.

Today Chaeli is with her other father and Mr X has gone back to work so it'll just be Carson and me. I can hardly wait. Perhaps we'll go for a walk.

Retirement planning, ruthieB style

2008-10-25T20:26:00.001-07:00

As I was getting ready to leave work yesterday, I jotted down a couple of quick notes to stick in files that will require action Monday morning. One of my coworkers asked if I was taking Monday off (thereby leaving notes for someone else to intercede). I said, "No, I'll probably be here. But if, by some chance, Mr X and I win the lottery on Saturday night I most certainly will not be here on Monday. Or ever again. And then you'll all be happy for these little notes." Oh, I'd go back for posterity, hand in my key and clean off my desk, invite everyone to the nearest pub for a celebratory nip, but I sure as tootin' wouldn't be sitting there in any employment capacity ever again. We then, of course, got into a "if I won 12 million dollars..." discussion.

Here's what I think I'd do...

First, I'd divide it in half and give half to Mr X. It's only fair -- I pretty much want to give all of mine away and that wouldn't really be fair to him. He wants a farm and it would take about an hour and a half to spend $6 million dollars on a decent farm. Let's just hope it would be viable because I plan on living off of him for the rest of my life. And I need a place to house the raggedy animals I would be rescuing. (And I really want a donkey!)

I'd give a lot to each of my daughters. Yeah, yeah, I realize that it's good for them to make their own ways in this world and all that, but it would make my heart oh, so happy to see them never have to worry about money again. Not that they'd never have to work again, because they both have a wonderful work ethic and they're smart and I'd hate to see them not use their talents ever again, but they could do exactly what they want to do.

I'd want to help out my siblings a bit, take care of any needs my mum might have, set up a fund for whatever I decide would do the most good, then I'd buy my dream car -- a Subaru Outback. Green in colour, manual transmission, lots of windows for my dogs to hang their drooling heads out of. It doesn't have to be new, but what the hell, I'm rich. Why wouldn't it be?

Then I'd find a nice little old house in Saskatoon, not far from Broadway. (If you've never been to Saskatoon you really should find a reason to go. It's a treasure -- a gorgeous little city with lots of bridges, parks, festivals, music, and young, energetic people -- not to mention free wireless internet in many areas because of the large student population. p.s. Go in the summer. I'm just sayin'.) I wouldn't, technically, live in the little house, but we'd all have it for a getaway place and a home-away-from-home when we'd go to University. Well, when I'd go to University, anyway. But I expect my kids would go too, at some point, so they would be able to realize their career dreams, whatever they may be.

That's all I want. A bit of travel would be nice, but my dream is simple and homey. It sounds so perfect.

Unfortunately, I forgot to buy a ticket again tonight, so it's all still a dream. Or, maybe we'll just end up doing it the hard way. ;)

Captain Kirk is the coolest

2008-10-21T20:05:00.000-07:00

We had a bit of a discussion about Star Trek today at work. Well, I did anyway, and my coworkers smiled and nodded and acted interested (I don't think I work with any Star Trek fans). I think it started because I was wearing short black pants (capri-ish) with boots and I always feel like I should be on the Enterprise when I wear that outfit. To add to the ambiance, my screen-saver at work is Beam Me Up Scotty (a carry-over from the crazy real estate boom of a year or two ago); combien appropriate.

I love Star Trek. The old ones. (I only saw them in reruns because we didn't have a TV when they were new.) It was genius, really, considering it was created more than 40 years ago. The flip-top communication devices (cell phones?), the sterile food from the little food slots (no listeriosis in those puppies!), the confident black woman (Uhura was nobody's fool!) and the Asian guy at the controls.

For SURE you didn't want to be the nameless guy in the red shirt going on a mission to an unknown planet, though. Those guys never came back.

I often marvel at how we're turning into a sterile Star Trek world. Computerized to the nth degree. We don't want to talk to a bank representative anymore -- we can do it all online, even get a mortgage without actually talking to a human being at the bank. We sit on the bus with an ipod in our ear or a computer on our lap instead of talking to the mortal sitting beside us, even though we see them on the same bus at the same time every day on our way to work. We drive our cars into our attached garages, slip silently into our houses and go two years without ever talking to the next-door neighbour. We'd rather email than phone because what if they're busy and don't have time to talk? (I am SO guilty of that one!) And if, by some fluke, someone actually does call we can just check our call display and ignore the call anyway.

I can see us all living in a USS Enterprise world someday not far off. Isolated, quiet, sanitary, clinical. People are annoying. They smoke, smell like perfume, drive too fast/slow, let their cats wander. Remember the Enterprise? No one was ever in the hallways. There wasn't any loud music to annoy the fellow crew. There was no clutter; no pictures, no religion, nothing to offend.

Nah. I kind of like diversity. I like weirdness. I like the neighbourhood cats, even though they poo in my yard and freak out my dogs (and my cats who aren't allowed outside). I miss the days when we just tolerated things that other people did because we weren't more important than they were, their feelings were just as valid as ours.

I only have a few good decades left on this planet (if I'm really lucky. How sobering is that?) and I hope I never have to see the day that we forget where we came from, forget how to communicate face to face or forget to care if the guy beside us is happy or sad. Captain Kirk was cool, but he didn't seem to have a family and he didn't much seem to care.

Maybe I need to look up some reruns of Bonanza...

A day in the life ... a Thursday

2008-10-16T20:49:00.000-07:00

6:20: Caddy jumps up on the pillow beside me. He knows the radio will come on at 6:30 and he always beats it by a few minutes. He wakes me up every day, just before Harry Michael Dekker on 1050 CJNB does (Harry lives in my old house on Martin Crescent, oddly enough), and I get a nice couple of nuzzles while I'm still half asleep.
6:30: The radio comes on, Harry tells me that Lorne Calvert (my beloved, but former, NDP Premier) is stepping down today. I'm disappointed. He's a sweetheart and I'll miss him. Charlotte (to my right) stretches and Puddy (at the bottom of the bed with Smokey) grunts. I'm very important, and when I wake up everybody else does, too. I lay there for a few minutes, listening to the news and soon I have three cats and two dogs standing over me, waiting patiently.
6:40: I announce it's time to get up, everybody jumps off the bed and runs to the kitchen ahead of me. Let the dogs out, gather the dishes, get the food ready, let the dogs back in. Everyone's favorite time of the day.
7:00: Turn on Andre's lights, turn on the TV (Canada AM, even though Seamus drives me crazy every single day), get the newspaper, turn on the computer, put on the coffee, jump in the shower.
7:20: Give Andre some salad, a few tasty superworms, bring the newspaper and coffee and visit with him while he eats. Watch a bit of the news, check out Facebook and email, start getting ready for work.
8:20: Let the dogs out and in again, head to work.
8:30-12 noon: Boss' day. Have a bit of a kerfuffle with the new girl about what to do for boss' day (we say do nothing -- it's the long-standing, well-accepted custom -- but she insists something must be done!), get some work done, coffee break (tea, actually) at 10:30, do some more work, some visiting, do some damage control on the boss' day issue, head home for lunch.
12-12:50: Nyk brings the kids over for lunch. Chaeli and I give Andre some crickets in his big see-through rubbermaid container -- too many crix, but he eats as many as he can catch! -- Mr X calls (he's in Alberta), Nyk takes Chaeli to school, I go back to work.
1pm - 5pm: Unsuccessful on the damage-control. New girl decided to buy stuff for boss' day after all, kerfuffle escalates. Everyone is unhappy, but we concede and sign the damn card and each pitch in a couple of bucks anyway. Open a couple of new files, go for coffee at 3:30, see a couple of clients, make a few phone calls. Order chinese for pickup, head for home.
5:15: Come home to a very warm, furry welcome. Lots of hugs and kisses, everyone is so happy to see me, the most beloved, home again. Go out with the dogs for awhile, run around, talk to the neighbour girl for a few minutes. Back inside, play some tunes on my ipod (Kid Rock, Cocky album), sit at the table with my ginger beef and rice and surf on the laptop. Call Nyk -- she's hilarious on Facebook today, silly silly girl. Look at Mandy's beautiful Ottawa pics, read email from my sis, check a couple of message boards. Wonder why someone I invited to be my friend on FB (I rarely invite for fear of rejection!) hasn't replied yet.
6:00: Take the dogs for a ride to Sobey's. Just need a couple of things: yogurt and granola for me, orange cupcakes (with bats!) for Chaeli because I promised, dandelion leaves, red and green peppers, squash for Andre. Forgot to buy Christmas oranges.
6:20: Back home, put some tunes on again, empty the dishwasher, make Andre's salad (enough for a few days) let Andre run around the bathroom for awhile, put him in the bath, bring the laptop so I can surf while he swims, (it should be said that dragons are very high-maintenance), dry him off, put him back in his tank, wait for Nyk to come over, turn off Andre's lights when he tucks in for the night.
8:00: Nyk arrives right on time, we take Charlotte and go for our evening walk. It's very dark these days, so we walk down mainstreet where its well-lit. Charlotte poops twice tonight and I just took one bag along. Crisis! I have kleenex in my pocket so I can at least move the second poo off the sidewalk. I feel awful, though. From now on, I'll be sure to take two bags for poo. (They are biodegradable -- it's okay!)
9:00: Mr X calls as soon as we walk in the door, Nyk heads home, I talk to Mr X for awhile, look up some stuff for him online, we are both a little mushy and missing each other today. I like it.
10:00: Turn on the news, surf again for a bit, start getting ready for bed.
10:30: Go out with the dogs, fill a dish for the cats, wash up, head to bed to read The Last Lecture -- my first book-club book and a very good read, everyone hops up on the bed with me. Can hardly believe tomorrow is Friday already!

Mitchie's Birthday slash Election Day

2008-10-14T18:02:00.000-07:00

Today celebrates two of my favorite things -- my oldest daughter, Michelle, and a federal election.

Oh, how I love elections. I even love the never-ending American election. I love the polls, the debates, the ridiculously impossible-to-carry-out promises, even the negative ads (because where else are you going to find out how many times a candidate has voted against your pet issue?). I subscribe to Time and MacLeans just so I can read copious amounts of political drivel that no one else I know cares about.

It's blissfully distracting this year, more than ever, to pick my guy and watch endless hours of results tonight to see how he does. In the past couple of weeks the only TV I have been able to watch is news and football. Since Emily was killed, (and this perplexes even me -- can my sisters relate at all?) sitcoms, movies, even Heroes ( and I loved the previous seasons), seem uninteresting and agonizingly trivial. I can't be bothered to commit myself to get involved in anyone else's issues, especially not pretend people on TV. Perhaps it's because my emotions have been completely tapped out since September 27th and What Matters and What Doesn't Matter have never been so conspicuous.

Mitchie voted with me after work -- Nyk and Miles voted earlier-- (go Orange!) and now she and Mark are watching movies for her birthday. I bought her a cake for her birthday and she gave me a bottle of Gibsons for watching her Gibsyn over the weekend. Yum, lucky me.

So, Mitchie is now 27. I remember very well the day she was born and I could tell stories all night of the fun we have shared over the years. I'm just SO happy that she lives here and I can see her every day. I'm happy that, in spite of me and my bumbling parenting through the years, she has turned out to be a clever, hard-working, responsible, fun, caring young woman.

What matters and what doesn't matter...nothing matters more than family and I am so very thankful for mine.

Have you cuddled your lizard today?

2008-10-13T15:17:00.000-07:00

This is our little buddy, Andre the Dragon.

Andre came to live with us almost a month ago. He's a couple of years old, about 18 inches long (which is a good size for a Bearded Dragon!) and he's just about the sweetest little guy evah.

Andre doesn't do a whole lot, but he's just so cute doing nothing that it doesn't really matter. Even Nyk, who threatened to not come to our house anymore if I got a dragon, kind of likes him now. She doesn't touch him, but she likes to watch him. :P

Unlike her mom, Chaeli just loves Andre. She hasn't been able to hold him yet (because her hands are too tiny and his body needs a lot of support) but she pets him and talks to him every day. She likes to watch him eat crickets and worms, too!

The other day I had thawed out a frozen pinky mouse for a treat for Andre. I gave it to him in the morning and ran out of the room before he could tear it apart in front of me. Well, to my surprise he didn't eat it at all -- even when I put a couple of worms beside the pinky to draw his attention to it, he completely ignored it. It just laid there like it was sleeping. (wah!) When I got home at lunchtime, Nyk was here with the kids and Chaeli had already discovered the pinky. She called to her mom that Andre didn't eat his piggie yet, which kind of freaked Nyk out a bit. :D Chaeli showed me the "pig" when I got in the house and I told her that it was a little mouse, but it wasn't real and it was just like a candy for Andre. She said, "no, it's not a candy. It's a little pig! Look at his little tail and his hands and his eyes! He's sleeping! When he wakes up I'll hold him and pet him and he'll like me!" uh-oh.

Suddenly, Andre figures it out and takes a stab at the mouse. I grab Chaeli and we run out of the room. I distract her for awhile with cupcakes (po-cakes) in the kitchen but soon realize that she has gone back into Andre's room. Now, I have no idea if he'll eat the whole pinky at once (it was tiny) or if there will be mouse parts lingering in his dish so I go running to see if Chaeli is freaked out. I bump into her coming out of Andre's room.
"Are you okay?", I ask.
"Yeah, I'm okay." She answers, all la de da. "Andre ate the pig."
"Oh, it's just pretend." I say, all damage-control. "It's just like a candy for Andre. Just a pretend mouse."
"No", she informs me, "It's not pretend. It's a real pig. And he ate it." And off she went to play.

She is the coolest.

Two things you need to know

2008-10-12T16:29:00.000-07:00

1. Justin Nozuka: Canadian boy, writes the most incredible stuff and sings it as though he's lived through all of the hurt and joy you could know in about 100 years. He's like, all of 19. Have a listen on youtube or just google him (or click on the title of this blog entry for a sample video!) then run out and buy his CD Holly. You'll love every single song, if you have any musical sense at all.

2. Tim Horton's Pumpkin Spice tea. May I recommend ordering it with one cream, one sugar. It's ridiculously delicious -- like pumpkin pie and whipped cream in a warm, toasty cup! Thanks, Mitchie!

It's Thanksgiving Sunday today and I've been hanging out by myself most of the day, with the exception of a short shopping trip with Nyckee (yeay, Nyckee!). If you can call hanging with Puddy, Charlotte, Gibby (Mitchie's dog), Smokey, Cadillac, Orangey, and Andre the Dragon, being alone. Yeah, no. Probably not.

I did manage to rake up 9, count 'em 9, large bags of leaves and it doesn't look like I've raked at all yet, and I vacuumed my car after the dogs ran through puddles of mud when we were out this morning and tracked it all over my car seats.

It's been a decent day. It's gorgeous outside and Nyk and I are going to go for a walk later, which sounds like tonnes o' fun. We always have fun on our walks, and I'll really miss them when it gets too cold. Wah. I hate winter already.

Needing some blogging therapy

2008-10-08T21:38:00.000-07:00

It's been so long since I wrote here that I doubt anyone reads anymore, but I need to pour out some thoughts and writing is the most cathartic release for me.

September 27, 2008. A day that changed our world forever. My brother's daughter, my beloved niece Emily, was brutally attacked and murdered while she was out for a walk in the trees that she loved on a sunny afternoon.

Emily was one of those precious children who makes you smile every time you think of her. A couple years ago, I stayed in her bedroom while I was out visiting her family and my mum for Thanksgiving. I'd always thought Emily was adorable -- blonde, tenderhearted, musically gifted, smart, obedient, gentle. And Emily, like me, loved animals. Maybe it was because I was in her room, seeing pictures of things that she loved on her walls, that I felt a special love for her. We talked about her music and we talked about animals. I was delighted to see her growing into a young woman who seemed comfortable in her own skin.

In August this year, we had a reunion of our immediate family. I think we were all amazed by Emily that weekend. She was so tall, so beautiful. She wasn't a little girl anymore. She was comfortable with the adults and was helpful with the little ones. It was obvious that she loved her family -- her parents and her sisters (her brother was at camp, so he wasn't with us). She spoke so easily with her parents. I even took a picture of her talking to her mom because I wanted to always have a snapshot of that comfortable, friendly relationship.

When we gathered on the front steps for a family picture, it was Emily who set up the camera for the big picture. She was responsible and she was a great photographer, so it didn't faze any of us that a 14-year-old was taking the most important picture. She just jumped right in there and did it. And it looked like she was having so much fun.

How could we have known that we would never see her again.

Now what? How do her parents go on? Her little sisters? Her brother who was also a friend? How can we who have known and loved her for 14 years not watch her become a happy wife and mother, not hear her play the violin at her Grandma's next birthday, not enjoy another video on Facebook of her playing the piano?

How can the man who beat her and choked her and left her on the pathway be out there still? Is he enjoying a cold one with friends, listening to his favorite tunes right now? Going to work, laughing with his family? Was he at the funeral? Is he still in Edson or is he here, 6 hours up the Yellowhead highway, looking for someone else to kill?

Emily loved Jesus. That's a good thing. We have to believe she is happy now, in His presence. There's comfort in that. I know she sure wasn't in that body anymore that was laying in that room on Thursday night, so beautiful and so silent. Her hair. Agh. Just looking at her beautiful hair as she was laying there. Her lovely hands. The WASTE of it all. It just hurts so much to think of the waste of that beauty, that talent, that knowledge, that lovely, lovely girl.

And the pain. Her pain. The pain of her parents that is just beginning. It's too much.

What can we do, those of us who love her parents and her siblings? How can we help to share the pain so it doesn't overwhelm them?

This happens every day somewhere in the world. You'd think someone would have some magical answer by now how to go on. But there is no answer because it's too insanely wrong.

Does life get any better than this?

2007-12-08T08:29:00.000-08:00

So now we have a new little guy in our lives -- Carson Rylie, adorable little son of Nyckee and Miles and brother to our darling Chaeli.

We were lucky enough to have Chaeli stay with us for a few days while Nyk was in the hospital and it was so quiet in here this morning when I got up and realized she's not here today!

We're so proud of Nyk and Miles and so excited to get to know their new little son. What an amazing miracle life is!

I started writing this last night after an amazing dinner out with the amazing Mr X but I was too filled with the afterglow of the experience to concentrate on mere words.
We went to our new favorite local restaurant where the owner loves us because we were there on the first day they opened and pretty much every Friday night since, and I'm game to try their specials which are so scrumptious they (and perhaps the wine) almost make me want to cry every single time.
Last night? The most amazing velvety swordfish paired with their divine scampi smothered in to-die-for garlic and white wine sauce, not too mention two generous goblets of red house wine. Oh my. And I had a couple of tastes of Mr X's steak, cooked to medium-rare perfection, garnished with whole mushrooms. Ahhhhh. The restaurant is small and warm, Dean Martin tunes (Christmas songs last night) flow over us, we always run into people we know that we can share a friendly moment with while we're there, and Gloria, the owner, always gives us a story and a laugh on our way out. It's a bit ridiculous what we spend there, but it's worth every single dime. It's one of our few indulgences but it's absolutely necessary to indulge once in awhile.

So Mr X and I relaxed with satisfied tummies on our comfy recliners with our lazy dogs and cats under the lights of our Christmas tree last night watching George Clooney, Brad Pitt and Matt Damon, contemplating our new family member, and wondering how life could possibly be any better. I don't think it could.

This one's for you, Lazee-Boy

2007-10-16T19:50:00.000-07:00

This is a very sad post about a very special little kitty.

Almost 10 years ago, around the time this (second) picture was taken, Nyk and I answered an ad in the Edmonton Journal for a "handsome blond cat to give away to the right owners". We walked into Amber's apartment and laid eyes on our beloved Lazee for the first time. It was love at first sight; well, for Nyk and me anyway.
Lazee was unimpressed, I'm sure, but Amber approved of us and Lazee came to his forever home. He was 4 years old.

Lazee and Amber had lived in an 8th floor apartment, so our 2-story condo with its staircase and close proximity to trees (and birds!) was a source of great amusement to Lazee. The first night he lived with us he found his place to sleep -- right beside my head, on my pillow. Every single night since he came to live with us, Lazee spent the night on my pillow.

Last Monday, Thanksgiving Day, Mr X and I discovered that Lazee's belly was distended and a bit hard. He seemed fine otherwise -- he was eating, purring, cuddling as he always did. We thought we'd better get him checked out anyway, and on Wednesday I took him to the vet. I was SO nervous to take him; I really didn't want to hear what they might say. 14 is old for a cat, even though he never acted old or looked old. Diagnosis: Tumor in his abdomen. The x-ray showed that it was on or either his liver or kidney, but it didn't matter which; it was bad. They sent us home with instructions to keep him comfy until the time came to bring him back in.

Thursday and Friday he was fine. I almost wondered if they made a mistake, even though I'd seen the x-ray. He was eating, he was cuddly, seemed happy as always. Saturday we didn't see much of him. He slept on our bed all day, but responded well to our petting and hugs. It seemed like we'd have him around for months. He slept on my pillow again Saturday night. For the last time.

Sunday Lazee spent the entire day on the floor beside our bed on his side, kind of curled up. He didn't come out to eat, he didn't even seem to notice when we pet him and talked to him. He didn't kick into insta-purr like he always did when we touched him. The lump on his side was really prominent. He didn't move all day.

Monday morning, no improvement. I came home at lunch and Nyk was crying. Lazee was laying on the floor in the spare room, same position. His tongue was half out of his mouth, his eyes were wide, almost wild. It was time. Already.

I called the vet and they told me to bring him down right away. I gently wrapped him in a towel and put him in the carrier -- that was the first time that he didn't fight me about the carrier. And that made me cry even more. Appropriately, Nyk was with me for his last trip, just as she was when we first got him.

So, he's gone. We were hoping for a few more years, at least a few more months. It never occurred to us that he'd be gone within a week. We are all a little shell-shocked. The other animals are even mourning. Mr X, Nyk and I knew we'd miss him, but we had no idea he'd leave a hole this big in our hearts.

We will never, ever forget him. We have so many stories (and a scar or two) to remember him by and we'll miss him forever.

I still can't believe it.

God love the lonely dogs

2007-09-29T16:33:00.000-07:00

Disclaimer: This is a rant. It includes exaggerations and random thoughts. It is not meant to be a serious discussion. This blog is Ruthieland and as such what I think and what I say is all that matters.
_____________________________________

What is it about pure-bred dogs? Why are so many otherwise intelligent, earth/health/humanity/generally PC-conscious-type people so determined that they have to have a pure-bred dog? I can't even stand the word "breeder" much less think about approaching one for a new pet.

I wish someone would put a 20-year (or forever) ban on selling pure-bred dogs. I understand preservation of the breed and all, but in my perfect world only a select few people would be allowed to own and reproduce purebred dogs (and not for resale) for these 20 years (or forever). If you want a dog, you would go to a shelter or a rescue home, pass an interview, pay a couple hundred dollars, sign in blood that you will have your dog fixed and take it to its forever home. Ideally, eventually all dogs will become a hot commodity instead of how it is now; people will pay thousands of dollars and drive/fly for hours for a purebred as they drive past hundreds of beautiful dogs wasting away in their local animal shelters. Everyone wants a purebred, so puppy mills pump them out, selling them in shitty pet shops that don't care about anything but making money off a cute face.

How is breeding new dogs for people to buy, instead of getting a homeless dog, any different than breeding perfect children instead of adopting an existing child or even birthing our own possibly-imperfect child? Should only perfect people be allowed to breed? There's a debate. There are no guarantees with a mixed breed dog, but there are no guarantees with your own child, either. Who are you that you have to have a perfect specimen of whatever kind of dog it is that you find desirable?

Because you want to know what the dog will look like when it grows up? Do you know what your infant will look like when it grows up?

Because you want to make sure it doesn't grow too big for your lifestyle? Do your research; find a rescue that has small dogs or put your name on a waiting list at the shelter for a small dog. My daughter got a teeny dog at the shelter that no one wanted because she isn't perfect. But, in the end, it turns out that with a lot of love and patience, she is perfect after all.

Is it because the dog may have been mistreated and you don't know how it will behave when you take it home? Well, there are no guarantees that purebred dogs will automatically be angels, and with love and patience your pound puppy will be perfect, too. We have a border collie cross dog that was a trainwreck when we brought her home from the shelter at about 9 months old. She was terrified of everybody. The shelter people couldn't get a collar or a leash on her because she was so afraid, but you could pick her up and carry her because she was so terrified of contact that she would freeze. 3 years later, she's the sweetest dog ever. Actually it took about a year and a half for her to achieve sweetest dog ever status. She's comfortable, confident and loves to walk on a leash, though she doesn't really need one because she stays close to us and wouldn't hurt a fly if it landed on her.

Is it because poodles don't shed and you think they will adapt better to your house of allergies? If you've exhausted all possibilities of poodle rescue associations and your name has been on a list at your local shelter for ages with no response, maybe you are out of luck. Maybe a dog isn't in your future because of your allergies.

We sit back and criticize other pet owners whom we don't think are giving their pets the attention we think they need but we drive past shelters filled with hurting, lonely dogs on our way to the breeders where we happily give money to people to create more dogs. Good lord.

Something wrong with this picture. It pisses me off.

Blame it on Facebook

2007-09-20T19:57:00.000-07:00

I think that's the reason I rarely post on here anymore. Facebook is too much fun and I only have so much computer-time in the evenings.

Also, I think I feel a little too exposed to say much on here. Too bad. I was really hoping to keep this kind of a secret place where I could vent and only a few chosen people could access my thoughts. The internet is just not a secret place. Kind of sucks.

Oh well.

Summer is over already. I feel like I missed it again this year by working too much. We bought a fantabulous trailer and we hardly used it. I wish I had the balls to find another job but I feel so damned responsible to stay where I am for awhile longer. I don't hate the job or the people, not at all, but I do feel like it's time to learn something new, hang out in different digs for awhile. 7 years at the same place is a long time for a wanderer like me.

Mr X is up north fishing right now with his brother at a good friend's fishing lodge. I'm celebrating by making cabbage rolls (well, lazy cabbage rolls to be honest) because I love them and he can't stand them. I'll eat them all weekend long and then hopefully be sick of them for awhile. I hope he has a wonderful time. He's been so stressed lately and I'm not sure if the chasm I feel between us some days is because of his stress or because....well I don't know what else. I don't want to think about it because it hurts my head. I just hope he's okay.

I'm also hoping to read lots this weekend. I'm reading The Plain Truth by Jodi Piccoult right now. It's about an Amish family and it reminds me of my early years and the uber-conservative Mennonite churches I attended. My uncle John was even mentioned in the acknowlegments at the beginning of the book. Kind of cool.

Poor Nyckee is off work until after the baby is born because her hip bones are out of place or something weird like that. Poor thing. How they manage to keep it together financially is beyond me but she's amazing. I wish I was a millionaire sometimes so I could make things easier for my kidlets, but they will get through this and they will be stronger for having done it on their own. I'm so proud of her and of Miles.

It's so hard to imagine that in 2 months there will be another person in our lives to love. Can't imagine loving the new little one half as much as we do Chaeli, but of course we will.

Chaeli has been SO much fun lately. I'd forgotten how clever 2 year olds can be. And so damned cute I can almost not believe it. Everything she says and does is beyond brilliant to us. We went to Edmonton last weekend, Nyk, Chaeli and I, because my mum was there for our old church's 50th anniversary. On the way to my brother's house, we told Chaeli that we were going to see Grandma (I am Ima, so she had no idea who Grandma might be). For some reason she thought my brother, Doug, was Grandma. When he went out to pick up dinner, she kept asking, "where's Grandma?" and I'd point her to my mum. Finally, Doug came back in and she put her hands up and said, "THERE's Grandma!" It was just hilarious. Fortunately, he was a good sport about the whole thing. The next day, my sister-in-law came into the room and Chaeli brightened up and said, "Hi Grandma!", so she was must have thought everyone at the house was Grandma. It was so funny. She was so good in the car and is so friendly to everyone. What a great kiddo.

Mitchie is off to Las Vegas in a couple of weeks to go to a seminar for work, lucky duckie. I love being able to see her every day since she moved back. I have no idea how I managed when she was so far away in Alberta. We talked every day, but it just isn't the same. This is SO much better! I hope we all stay here forever. Saskatch really is the best place to live, but don't tell -- we don't want everyone moving here. heh

Hip Hip Hip Holidays!

2007-08-10T19:09:00.000-07:00

I can't believe it, but it's really true! I have one whole week off! Yipeeeeeeee! I made notes for whomever is brave enough to cover the 19 files that are in an emergency priority for next week and a whole bunch more that may require some attention. Hah. I wish I could be a fly on the wall for a couple hours a day to see how THAT goes. And I'm going to try to not even think about the mess I'll come back to.

I've had some absolutely terrible days over the past couple of weeks. I'm downing scotch as we speak. All of the conveyancers I've talked to lately are cranky and snippy and need a holiday as much as I do. This is the thing, people. If you are buying a house in a hot market, keep these tidbits in mind:
1. And I mean #1. If you have no money, don't try to buy a house. Don't act so surprised that the bank isn't going to lend you enough money to cover all of your closing costs, adjusted taxes and CMHC fees et cetera. Somehow you're going to have to cough up a couple of thousand dollars and it's not my fault that you don't have it.
2. Speaking of CMHC fees, rip the face off of someone else if you don't like them; I have no control over how much you are charged. Leave me out of it. This all goes back to #1. If you don't have five cents to your name, you are just lucky the bank is willing to lend you anything. CMHC is your friend. That's the only way you're going to get your house. Work it out.
3. This may come as a complete surprise to you, but you are not my only client at this moment in time. If you want to be my only client, try buying a house in November, not in July. Oh, and if the nice people at the Land Registry don't want to work July long weekend and your transfer is held up for three days, that also is not my fault. I got you into the house on time; paying a couple of days interest is not going to make any difference in the long run. I've requisitioned your mortgage funds and I'm at the mercy of your bank now until the funds arrive.
4. When I'm trying to explain something to you, shut the eff up and listen. I know exactly what I'm doing and I'll be happy to take 10 precious minutes out of my day to explain the procedure to you, but you have to shut your face and let me talk. If I sound a little pissy by the end of the conversation you probably won't notice anyway because you never shut the eff up long enough to hear a word I said.
5. This is not Alberta. You are very unlikely to see any money on possession date here. Hold tight for a couple of days and you'll have it. We already told you that. Calling me five times a day to ask where your money is won't help any of us and no, I can't expedite the Land Registry timeline. See #3. Next time, sell your house on November the 8th if you want to be at the front of the line. Right now you're about #15 on my desk alone and you can multiply that by about 50 to see where you are in the line at the Land Registry.
6. Don't act so surprised that you have to come in and sign mortgage documents before you buy a house. If you decide to take a holiday for 2 weeks just before possession date, you might want to let me know so I can get your mortgage documents ready before you go. And, even better, if your wife is on holiday in Manitoba and you're here, I can't tell you what a pain in the ass that is for me to get everything signed in time for you to move in on the right day. Work with me; don't give me shit because I want to interrupt your summer with the annoying little documents that will allow me to get your keys on time.
7. To my co-workers. Could use a little help here. Oh, right. You're entitled to your holidays. I'm just confused why you're off again because I have about 2 months worth of vacation time that increases daily with the overtime I'm putting in. Have another nice week off; I'll be here answering the phone, instead of doing my job, because everyone else is gone.

Aah, there's so much more, but I am officially on a week off starting right now. And I'm not giving it another thought. The nice summer weather appears to be over and I missed it all again, but who cares. Feet up, great book, good scotch, trip to Calgary to see my sister on the horizon.

Things are looking up!

Stop buying houses, people!

2007-06-28T19:46:00.000-07:00

Argh. Life as a conveyancer is ridiculous at this time of year. My desk is overflowing with real estate transactions and I got nine -- woohoo, nine -- new ones this afternoon. My helper just began her 6-week holiday today and I honestly do not know how I am supposed to do this. Gah. I will, though. I always do.

Tonight Mr X went to his sister's Grade 12 grad and I, obviously, couldn't go along. He was pissed at me this morning when I went to work because he thinks I should have just said I'm taking a few days off. It upset me because I'm on the cusp of in/sanity as it is and the last thing I need is my beloved not being supportive. I went to the office on the verge of tears (this is NOT me. At. All. Not a crier.) after Mr X gave me grief and I wanted to put a fist through my computer screen when I tried to log on and it kept freezing up (not necessarily my fist; that would hurt). Then my boss and a coworker came to offer brilliant suggestions which pissed me off enough that I almost cried again. Then I got nine -- yes, nine -- new files. Excellent. Ah, how I wish sometimes that I didn't quit smoking.

I texted Mr X to apologize after we pissed each other off again at lunchtime (he was home today because he and his brother were heading out to the Grad in the afternoon) because even though I felt he may have wronged me, the truth was probably quite the opposite, knowing my state of mind today. He graciously declined the apology because he said I did nothing wrong. He's so sweet.

However, I think my July 1 deals are almost in the bag. I'll be working all long weekend again (worked all of them last summer, too) so I can hopefully get some banks reported to before they start giving me shit. This is not the job for one mere mortal. Good thing I'm SuperConveyancer or we'd be in trouble.

Next weekend is my family reunion. The one Mr X is missing because he has to work.
hah. I am so looking forward to seeing my sisters, having a couple of drinkies and not being at work. I always feel like odd man out with most of my family, but my sisters are cool and I'm excited to hang out with them again.

haha, what a loser

2007-06-07T20:18:00.000-07:00

I can't believe how long I have avoided this thing. I'm sure I've lost everyone's interest by now. So sorry!

So, here I am, still alive. A couple of months later. Forgive me, though; Spring comes and the last thing I want to do when I get home is sit inside and type.

Holy crap, so much has happened since I was last here.
Nyk and Miles were married in a lovely backyard ceremony at the end of April. They had planned an at-home ceremony, but when Mitchie offered her boyfriend's beautiful backyard they couldn't resist. The evening was so warm and sunny and we even managed to throw a bit of a party together. It was perfect. Then the next day we all went back to work. Hah.

Nyk and Miles have recently acquired a new dog, Pheobe (a tiny chi/boston bull mixup), too. She was an animal shelter reject (she'd been at the shelter for about a month, one of my coworkers heard about her, went to look at her, didn't love her, so I told Nyk to check her out and she fell in love at first sight) but has turned out to be the sweetest dog ever. She's approximately 5 years old, ugly as sin, but she adores Nyk and we all adore her. Chaeli calls her Pee-Bee.

This picture was taken today in our backyard. I bought this slide set from one of our lawyers on the weekend at her garage sale. Chaeli has been at her dad's for a few days so today was the first day she saw the slide. It was so cute -- when we first went outside and she saw it, she just froze. Sliding is our very, very favorite thing to do together. She walked up to it really slowly, walked around it,eyes big as can be, said, "Mima. Slide. "like she could hardly believe it was true. (She calls me Mima instead of Ima lately.) I had to help her up the ladder a couple of times, but by the time she had to go home she was flying up the ladder and even up the slide-part. I even remembered to videotape the occasion. It was the cutest thing ever. Life is sooooo good.

Work is ridiculously busy. I don't even want to talk about it. My summer holiday plans are already screwed again this year and I'm starting to work weekends and lay awake worrying all night. And I don't get paid enough. Oh, wait. I didn't want to talk about it.

Mr X is madly trying to find us an acreage to move to and it looks like he might be on to something at last. The only problem is that there is no house, water, power, etc. on the land yet. It will be a big pain in the ass to make it work, but it just might be worth it. If we do move there (about 40 minutes from here where he now works) I'll try to find a job there, too. There is a lot of oilpatch stuff around there so it shouldn't be too difficult. Maybe I'll just stay home and raise burros and fainting goats. If we do move, I'll miss the girlies so very much. I guess we'll still be close, but we won't be able to see them every day. I'm so spoiled.

Well, off to bed for me. I'm reading a terrific book called My Sister's Keeper by Jodi Picoult and it's calling me. Mandy, I didn't really love Memory Keeper's Daughter, either. I wanted to, but I just didn't. This one is SO much better.

Happy Earth Day!!

2007-04-22T15:05:00.000-07:00

This is actually a meaningful day to us this year. In the past few months we've readjusted our habits to make our footprints a little smaller when we leave this Earth, thanks in part to the desire for less trash, the discovery of big recycling bins (at last!) in our little city, a kick in the pants by good old Al Gore and the quiet inspiration of my niece in Calgary who has been environmentally conscious for as long as I can remember.

So far we've:
* changed to reusable cloth bags for our grocery shopping
* changed our most-used lights to CFL lights with the plan to change the rest as they burn out
* set up bins in our kitchen to collect anything that we can recycle
* set up a composter (just yesterday!) in our garden.

... small changes so far and we're probably still miles behind most of the civilized world, but we're always looking for new things we can do, like using vinegar and baking soda instead of Mr Clean, for example. We have a long way to go, but we're really having fun with this. I'm ridiculously excited about composting. I've been carefully following the rules, so it had better work! In any case, I'd rather have the kitchen gunk out there instead of in my garbage, so it seems I can't lose.

Mr X's passion for change kind of surprised me, but I'm so glad he's on board with this. It's my kids who, at first anyway, thought we were crazy. Hah.

Happy Earth Day!

April 14,10pm and all's well

2007-04-14T20:34:00.000-07:00

Well, it finally feels like spring today. I feel human again. That was possibly the ugliest winter of my life. It seemed like it went on for 6 months. Probably because it did go on for 6 months.

Chaeli and I had the funnest day ever today. We learned how to do a 15-piece puzzle (well, actually I knew already; she learned) Chaeli made jokes and did funny things all day (she helped me fold laundry and put about 30 pair of socks on, one pair at a time) and because it was so nice, I decided we should go out to the park.

As soon as I put Chaeli in the stroller, she was excited to get going. When we were walking down the street she had her hands out and her head back and she was singing and laughing and soooo happy. We got to the park and went on the slide a few minutes but it was so wet and mucky that I decided we should go to another playground up the block. I showed her where we were going so she wouldn't be upset about leaving, popped her up on my shoulders and we headed across the field to the other park.

It was really snowy and wet there, too, but I thought we could work around it. I put her in the swing for a few minutes then took her out to go over to the slides. I grabbed the stroller and caught up with her just in time to see her heading for a HUGE puddle. Too late. Down she went, right in the water. I grabbed her and whipped her pants, socks and shoes off because they were drenched. So much for the park. We had to go home. wah. I had an extra pair of socks and a towel in the stroller (and it was about 22c, so not cold anyway) so I wrapped her up, put her in the stroller and headed back home. She was not happy to leave, but I think she realized that we had to, so she was a good sport. I think she enjoyed the stroller ride as much as the park anyway.

So, anyway, after an absolutely perfect day, she ended up in the hospital with croup again tonight. :( She had a runny nose today, but seemed in perfect health otherwise. Nyckee says it's like that every time; she seems fine other than a bit of a cold, then suddenly she can't breathe. They're so good at the hospital here, though. They get her right in and hook her up to the nebulizer for awhile until she's good to go. So, I hope she'll be okay tonight. Nyk has the vapourizer going, so she should be. I hope her puddle episode didn't make her sicker.

Mitchie and Mark are at Mark's cousin's wedding tonight. She came home to change from a skirt to her black capris and oops, I had worn them last week and they were in the laundry. Busted. Clean at least. So I had to iron them up and de-cat-hair them for her and she was off again. She looked absolutely gorgeous. Wowsers. Mark keeps drunk-texting me as I'm typing here. So cute.

Mr X has been in bed since 8:30. It took me about a half hour to realize he wasn't in the bathroom. I think I'll join him soon and start in on my new book. I just finished On the Beach for about the 4th time, I think. I love that book so much. It always takes me a couple of days after I finish reading it to remember that it does matter what I do today because I won't be dying tomorrow, most likely. You have to know the book to make any sense of that, but I get so into it that I actually start to plan like we're all dying right away. And, oddly, it's fine. But then when I remember it's just a book it's such a relief to know that we're still going strong.

The book I start tonight is Memory Keeper's Daughter. I've heard good things, but it has a tough act to follow, after On the Beach.

Spring is here!

2007-03-25T20:11:00.000-07:00

This is how crazy I've become as a result of a long, cold, dark winter. I can't even smile nicely at a funeral; gotta do a toothy-goofy grin to make the cameraperson laugh.

This is me (wearing the lovely black suit -- with not-quite-black hose)) with Mr X's sister and our nephew at Mr X's grandma's funeral this week. She had been sick and unaware of her surroundings for many years, so this service was more a celebration of her life than a depressing funeral. It was good to see all of Mr X's relatives again. I met many of them last year at a reunion that Mr X was unable to attend, but he hadn't seen a lot of them for about 20 years. It was fun to point out his cousins and their spouses to him. Most of them came up to say hi to me and said, "So, this must be Mr X!". Too funny.

We have both been SOOOOO busy at work lately, which is why I haven't been on here much. Between O/T, trying to work out, fielding company and hanging out with the family, time just flies by. By the time I get a chance to come on here my brain is fried and my hands don't want to type anymore.

Last night one of Mr X's best friends (and former hockey team mate) was playing hockey here at a First Nations tournament so we went to watch him play. One of my favorite things is to be surrounded by that community. Mr X, too, but he fits in by blood; I just fit in by the love I have for the culture and the people. I'm pretty sure I was a Plains Indian in a previous life because that's what I've always wanted to be for as long as I can remember and that's where I've always felt comfortable. I see the little kids (boys specifically, oddly) and I want them to be mine. It's the weirdest thing; I just feel surrounded by warmth and peace when I'm at a First Nations function, especially when there are drums and singing (which there wasn't this weekend).
I've never told Mr X's FN friends that -- I'm sure they'd think I'm crazy -- but they love me anyway. hah.

I don't have any special Chaeli stories that I can think of today. She's just getting cuter and chattier every day. We were colouring today and she was showing off her colour skills. Blue and purple are her favorite. She'd pick a colour for herself, blue for example, tell me what it was, then she'd pick a very similar colour for me. When she'd change crayons, I'd have to change too so we matched. She's our sunshine, no doubt about it.

I'm watching a CBC documentary right now on why the US always needs to be at war. It's so disturbing. Donald Rumsfeld is my least-favorite person on the planet, I believe. Killing innocent people sucks. That is all.

It's a beautiful day in the neighbourhood...

2007-03-12T20:39:00.000-07:00

Ah, it feels so springy and melty and warmish outside these days. It's heavenly. I've been in a bit of a grumpy-slump the past couple of weeks because winter was just getting me down, but I feel the joy coming back now. Whoot!

On Saturday, I took Chaeli to the park for almost 2 hours. We had so much fun on the slides and the crawling-on-thingys. As soon as we got to the playground she jumped out of her sled and ran for the merry-go-round. She must remember it from last year because right away she said, "wheeeee" and tried to push it. Unfortunately, it's packed half way up with snow so it won't be spinning until this time in May, so we didn't spend much time there. I went down the slides with her a few times but after a couple of rounds she looked back at me, held up her hand and said, "Ima. No." and she zipped down by herself. It was a twisty slide so she went fast, but I slid down right after her and it was fine. That was it, no more help. She is Ms. Independence.

One of Chaeli's favorite games is hide-and-seek. She plays it a lot at Nanna and Poppa's (her day care providers), apparently. At the playground, we were playing around under the slides, kind of hiding, and she'd cover her face and count to three like she was playing hide and seek. One time, she put her head down on the lower end of the slide, covered her eyes and said, "One, two, three, come!" like she always does. She looked up, expecting to see me but I was standing behind her. She said, "Where are you?" then turned around, saw me and said, "Boo!". It was so hilarious.

Nyk took Chaeli to the doctor for her 2-year checkup today. She's about 27 pounds (12.4 kgs) and almost 30 inches (78cm) tall. As tiny as she is, she's still bigger than Nyk was at her age. The doctor pronounced her perfectly healthy and said her face looks wiser than 2. Cute!

Argh, work is crazy insane these days. I just cannot get anywhere. I think I'm going to have to start working overtime again because I keep getting new stuff for April 1st and I'm falling further and further behind. It's so frustrating because a few of my coworkers don't have enough to do and I'm going insane trying to stay afloat. I don't know why everyone is so afraid of real estate -- I could really use a hand. Whatevah. I can do it. I did it last year; I can do it again.

Mr X is working tonnes of overtime. He didn't take any time off at all this weekend. I feel bad for him -- I don't know how he does it. He's a machine. I'm so proud of him. I just hope he gets some time off when the weather gets nice so we can do stuff outside together.

Miles and Nyk bought their wedding bands yesterday in the Big City. I think they're actually going to go through with this whole thing. Well, not the whole thing; Nyk has put the kabosh on an actual wedding. She says it freaked her out when people started saying, "It's your day!" and "... you'll be the centre of attention" whereby she decided she totally does not want a Day and she most certainly does not want to be the Centre of anything. So, Marriage Commissioner it is. That doesn't surprise or disappoint me at all. I'll be lucky if I get to see it all go down, but I just want her to do what she feels comfortable doing. She is so funny. And she is so happy. I'm incredibly proud of her and her job and her house and her perfect little child.

Oh, and I take back my hateful spiel about black nylons. Partly, anyway. I saw someone wearing black nylons with the right skirt and the right shoes last week and it was very cute. I was wrong. There can be a time and a place. Next thing, I'll be waxing poetic about shoulder pads. Stay tuned.

In like a lion...?

2007-02-28T20:13:00.001-08:00

Well, finally the end of February today. I took the garbage out just now and it feels like 100 below. I will be soooo happy when this winter is over. It's been a long, hard one and it's not nearly over yet.

It's way past my bedtime but I didn't start my workout until 9pm so it'll be a late one tonight. Mr X obliged me by coming downstairs to "be with me" when I was working out, but instead of working out he watched me for awhile then fell asleep on the sofa. He's still there and I'm upstairs watching Jon Stewart by myself.

Well, we celebrated Chaeli-bean's 2nd birthday in style. I didn't get any great pics of the party, but she had fun and got lots of goodies. We bought her an outfit and a water table for the summer. It looks pretty cool -- it's designed for sand and water (different sections) and it has a cover and an umbrella. She loves water so Mr X thought she'd love one of these.

Nyk had a big week (besides the birthday). She is now The Assistant Manager at Timmie's. She gets to wear a black shirt and a little scarf. Hah. A scarf. That is SO not Nyk. hee. She's been working so hard to get this and they promoted her a bit earlier than she expected. I'm so happy for her. She got a healthy raise and promises of another raise in 3 months. Not only that, but Mr X did her income tax and she gets a couple thousand dollars back. I'm sooooo happy for her. She works her ass off, so it's really nice to see her get a couple of breaks.

My only excitement lately is that I made a couple of lasagnas for Chaeli's party and they were actually yummy! I love lasagna but for some reason I've been unable to create an edible one for a few years. I think I'm back on track. Yeay. I'm going to try again soon to see if my slump is actually over or if I just got lucky for once. This weekend, however, will be turkey weekend. It's on sale and I'm in the mood for turkey sandwiches. Yum.

Oh, and I cut the tip of my baby finger off a couple of days ago. That was quite exciting. It bled like a son-of-a-b. I was cutting a bagel at lunch with a giant knife (the same knife that caused a 5-stitch gouge in my thumb a couple of years ago) and I sliced my pinkie. Oops. Right from the tip of my finger through the nail on one side. Nice. I went back to work with 3 bandaids and a kleenex wrapped around and it was still bleeding through the kleenex. But the nice thing is that I heal like Claire on Heroes and it's looking not too bad already. Bizarro.

Work has been insane lately. I had lots of closings for today and tomorrow, but I think they're under control. I'm madly working on April 1st closings now so I'm not too overwhelmed at once. Real estate around here is so crazy lately. I should threaten to quit and see if they offer me a huge raise. Hah. As if. ;p

Happy Family Day Long Weekend!

2007-02-17T19:54:00.000-08:00

Woohoo, gotta love political bribery. Our esteemed Premier has been bestowing gifts on us lately, presumably signalling an upcoming election. One of the perks is that we now have a February holiday just like our enviable neighbour to the West (my beloved home province, Alberta) and this is the weekend. And next month they are offering attractive rebates on our car insurance. Whee! Vote for Lorne! (I voted for him last time -- I should get extra presents, but no. All I get for that is a disgusted grunt and the cold shoulder from my father-in-law and a hard time from Mr X. I have my reasons and will not apologize, for all you NDP haters out there.)

Today was a balmy -9C so Mr X and I bundled up Chaeli and the dogs and headed out for an hour of sun and fun. We hooked the sled up to Puddy's harness and he pulled Chaeli to the park while Charlotte danced around trying to trip me again. (Charlotte has tripped me several times while out walking but I'm usually wearing shorts to maximize the damage. My knees have scars so I can tell the story with pictures. Mr X cautions me to wear a helmet and knee pads at all times.) It was so fun! Chaeli zoomed down the slide with me and Puddy went down with Mr X. The joy! I had to tie Charlotte to the slide at one point because some kids arrived with their hateful little snappy dog and I think she almost had a stroke. Poor Charlotte. She's a rescue dog and she has terrible issues with being tied up. She was just frantic, poor little thing. So, we had to cut our outing short and headed home. I carried Chaeli home on my shoulders as a compromise for having to leave the park and she kept looking back and sing-songing, "Puddy's coming!" and looking beside us and saying "Good dog!" to Charlotte because that's what I was saying. Being outside is so much fun!

Today we bought a skidoo helmet for moi, and Mr X and I are planning to go on a skidoo day tomorrow. We're going to take a thermos of coffee (because I can't be far from coffee for more than 1 hour) and a little picnic and we'll hit a trail and ride until we feel like turning back. I can hardly wait. I hope it's a nice day, but judging by the amount of clothes we're planning to wear it probably doesn't much matter.

On Monday, our Big Day Off, we're hoping to go to Saskatoon to birthday-shop for Chaeli. She'll be 2 on the 24th and we must buy her the perfect gift(s). Don't know what yet, but the only option we have here is Walmart and I've already bought everything there.

So, fun weekend ahead. I'll be back with stories if I don't fall off the skidoo in front of a Greyhound bus. Stranger things have happened.

P.S. The Pradas arrived. They are spectacular. I wish you all had the same shoes. I love them.
P.P.S. If you haven't seen the movie A Scanner Darkly, do it. Trust me. Mr X and I just saw it and were blown away. Go now, get it.

When the dog bites, when the bee stings...

2007-02-13T20:18:00.000-08:00

These are a few of my least favorite things:

-Heavy socks with dress pumps. Don't do that.
-Black nylons/pantyhose. Is there ever a right time for black nylons? Hint 'o black, nightshade, even sheer black, do it up. But not black black. Especially not with non-black shoes. Don't do that, either.
- I dislike that 6 jujubes have 100 calories. No fat, granted, but why 100 calories? I can easily eat 30 jujubes at one time. I don't even want to do the math on that one. Something yummy needs to be guilt-free. It should be jujubes. Who can I write about this?
- Drivers who don't stop for pedestrians. It's -30, -72 with the wind chill. You are in a car; she is standing on the corner (outside, notice) waiting to cross. I am waiting, stopped on the road, in my car for her to cross, as is one other driver opposite me. Why do all the other approaching vehicles not see what we are anticipating by our waiting? Just stop already and let the poor woman cross. If you can't see pedestrians waiting at corners, don't drive. You're pissing me off.

But on a good note, I have Prada shoes on the way. I ordered them from ebay last week. I'm so very excited. I had placed my MAXIMUM bid (too much) and lost by a mere $3. I was disappointed because they are so pretty, but a bit relieved because I have too many shoes and these are a bit unnecessary/extravagant. Imagine my surprise when I got an email a week later telling me the original high bidder was unable to pay because she is overseas and couldn't find a way to get money to the US. So they were mine if I wanted them. Yes, I wanted them. I can hardly wait. Lucky for me, Mr X had to buy a new coat for work that was about double what my shoes cost so the guilt was short-lived. They are a bargain in comparision. Hah. We do what we have to do to justify.
-

I'm still alive!

2007-02-12T19:52:00.000-08:00

Yikes, it's been ages since I wrote in here. I think I'm finally over the life-sucking illness that was dragging me down for the past couple of weeks. Tonight is the first time I've worked out in over 2 weeks, and it felt pretty good so I think I'm pretty much better. I haven't missed any work, but luckily for me it's been slow and I just putter away, attempting to look busy as I'm tucked away in my lovely office.

My mom has been calling, leaving messages like, "I'm wondering if something has happened to you or if you've gone away because I haven't talked to you for so long", but the truth is I just haven't had the energy to call her back. It wouldn't be so bad if I could just hear her and let her ramble on, but it's an hour of straining, straining, trying to hear what she's saying so I can make semi-intelligent sounds in response. I think she moves the phone away from her mouth because when I say I can't hear her it improves for a few minutes, then we're back to a whisper again. It's agonizing. I am such an evil daughter. meh.

We had surprise company this weekend; Mr X's sister and her husband. It was good to see them, but it felt like the weekend just zipped by without much being accomplished. We had Chaeli both days for awhile too, and that always keeps us from doing much of anything else. Oh well, long weekend coming up. Perhaps we can actually get something done on a long weekend.

Puddy's birthday is coming up on the 15th. Our old brown dog. Well, he's only 5 but he acts like he's 15. He limps and he has white hair on his chinny-chin-chin. Every year on Puddy's birthday we go through a drive-through and get him a Birthday Burger. No cheese. And I always tell the drive-through person that it's his birthday. They usually say, "Happy Birthday" but sometimes they appear unimpressed and don't say anything at all. Usually that's at Burger King. Go figure. This year Mr X will actually be able to come along. Charlotte doesn't get to come because if she eats in the car she hurls. That kind of ruins the party, for me anyway.

Mr X and I are watching Jon Stewart is burning down Anna Nicole Smith tonight. It's completely irreverent but very funny. It's called Death of a Person. It feels almost wrong laughing at someone's demise, but they are just too much. Oops? It's hard to know how to honour a life of phoneyness and opportunism, I suppose.

Welcome, February!

2007-02-01T20:23:00.001-08:00

Tonight is Mr X's hockey night so I have a few minutes before bed to do some posting here. I heard on the radio yesterday that bloggers falsely feel they are changing the world, so here I am again, wasting my time on non-world-saving babble. I feel so hollow and misguided.

Tomorrow is Friday already -- where did this week go? We don't yet have any plans for the weekend. Chaeli will be with her padre so we won't have her on Saturday. Maybe we'll do something around the house. I'm still feeling like crapola but I expect I'll live, so no whining about that. We're still looking for acreages closer to Mr X's new job, but slim pickins so far. Perhaps we'll buy a Timmie's and go for a drive to see if anything looks promising.

I'm reading a new Anne Rice book called Christ the Lord, Out of Egypt. It's quite interesting and oddly disturbing. The narrative is through Jesus' eyes, age 7, as the family travels from Egypt to Nazareth. It was a tad violent last night, but violent from a 7-year-old perspective, so not gruesome or anything, but I had the weirdest dreams. I don't even know what I was dreaming about, but when I got up to let the dogs out at about 2am I was totally freaked out by fleeting images of Roman soldiers slashing and pillaging . Usually when the dogs go out I just go to the sofa for 10 minutes or so then let them back in and go back to bed, but last night I needed to feel Mr X nearby so I went right back to bed and snugged in. So weird. I still don't know what had me so creeped out, but I hope it doesn't come back tonight. I hate bad dreams. wah.

It's just crazy how much I'm loving Mr X being home every night. I honestly was terrified that we'd drive each other batty, but I can hardly wait to see him when I'm driving home from work every day. I totally remember why I agreed to marry him in the first place; I certainly wasn't in the mood to get married, but I just could not imagine not being around him all the time.

Just for that, I think I'll surprise him and make his sandwiches for him tonight since he won't get home until after midnight. awww. I'm so nice.

Alrighty then

2007-01-29T18:30:00.000-08:00

I had a bit of a kerfuffle getting back on my blog. There was some issue about signing in with a google account. Effed me up for a few days there, but I'm back.

Goooolllly, I had the worst cold this weekend. It was the craziest thing. Woke up Friday morning sick as a dog, died a little more each day over Saturday and Sunday and woke up this morning, Monday, at about 89% healed. The Employment gods messing around with me again, I guess. I never take time off work when I'm sick but lately I've been saying, "Next time I'm sick I'm going to take a couple of free days off like everyone else does". But no. I get sick Friday and I'm better Monday. It's so not fair.

I did take a couple of days off last week, though, just because it's pretty slow right now and I have so many holiday days to use up. I went in to work on Tuesday morning at 8:30 and decided to come home an hour later. I went into my boss' office and announced that I was going home for 2 days. He said, "Oh no! Are you feeling sick?" (oh, how prophetic) and I said, "No, I feel just perfect. I'm just going to go home and clean up my storage room". And he said, "Oh. Okay.".

Tuesday and Wednesday I went mad, cleaning our computer room upstairs and the storage room downstairs (I have 2 adult daughters who have both moved in and out of this house twice, leaving copious amounts of crap behind with each move) and I collected about 8 bags of garbage which I promptly tossed in Mr X's truck box so he could haul them to the dump. There were bank statements and bills from about the last 5 years, old school notebooks, junky clothes, broken candles, things I honestly didn't want to recycle; I just wanted to rid my life of. (So sorry Al Gore; forgive me just this once.)

So, anyway, on Thursday night Mr X has to go play hockey and of course needs his truck. It's full of garbage and the dump is not open in the evenings. We have these vile garbage bins in the alley -- 1 bin for every 6 houses or some such poo -- and Mr X decides he's going to just toss everything in a bin. So I go along to assist. Ah, but not OUR bin. He chooses someone else's bin, for whatever reason.

Picture us driving stealthily up the alley in the dark. It's Thursday evening. We stop, open the bin (oh! it's empty!) and begin the toss. Suddenly I see him in the window of a nearby house. Looking at us. The Garbage Nazi. He has both hands at the top of his window; curtains pulled back, all aggressive and manly. He Sees All. I'm afraid. I want to leave. Mr X keeps throwing things in the bin. I get back in the truck. The light comes on in back of the house. He's coming out. He comes out of his yard, up to the truck. Mr X says hello and keeps tossing bags. The bin is full. The Nazi looks at our licence plate and goes back in his house. He's not as brave as he appears. Still, I was getting panicky. Mr X wasn't fazed in the least, but I had visions of bylaw officers and hefty fines running through my head for hours afterward.

As it turns out, nothing happened; at least not yet, but really, I suppose, other than the obscene amount of trash, we didn't do anything wrong. We aren't actually assigned a bin and this particular bin was on our street, but still. I am Canadian, Mennonite, female, a Virgo and a younger (but not youngest) child. I'm born guilty.

And when you think about it, really. Who sits and watches their neighbourhood garbage bin from their window and takes the licence number of someone who dumps therein? Someone who needs a hobby, that's who. I think he'll be the next neighbour I curse. The last one died. But that's another story, for another day.

Sunday ramblings

2007-01-21T19:38:00.000-08:00

This has been a loverly weekend! Just hanging out around home with Mr X, but it was tonnes o' fun.

Friday night Nyk dropped Chaeli off for awhile while she went shopping, so that was fun. Yesterday Mr X went to a snowmobile rally an hour or so away for a few hours and I cleaned a bit and watched Little Miss Sunshine. I loved it so much I made Mr X watch it with me last night. It amazes me that some people don't love that movie. I adored it.

This morning we had a heated discussion about blood diamonds or something profound like that, did the Myers-Briggs tests online (Mr X pulled out ISFJ and I was ENFJ, though I don't think that's what I usually am) then went out for brunch.

This afternoon Mitchie and I watched Miami Ink (I still want my tattoo) while Mr X worked on a jigsaw puzzle, I found some shoes on ebay that I must have, and I had a fabulous talk with my sister on the phone.

Nyk came over this evening to discuss wedding invitations and she and Mr X laughed at me because the Steve Irwin show made me want to cry. I see a tragedy; they see a guy who played with fire and ended up fried. Wah. When she left, we went downstairs to work out. Now we're winding down and I'm trying to decide how high I'm willing to go on the Pradas on ebay. And I'm on my second bag of Goodies this weekend. Work out, eat a bag of Goodies. Work out, eat a bag of Goodies. Maybe I should just start smoking again. Hah. Don't think so.

Chaeli Rides Again

2007-01-14T19:47:00.000-08:00

She's a Rhinestone Cowgirl! (Click on the pic for a closer look.)

Mr X captured Chaeli with my c'boy hat on yesterday. I think it's a good look for her. The hat says, "Whiskey for my men, beer for my horses", a souvenir of our trip to see Willie Nelson last year. She spotted it on the shelf in our bedroom and wanted to wear it. yeeha. So cute. She is just way too much fun. We had her while Nyk worked yesterday and, as always, it was so hard to let her go at the end of the day.

It's cold as a bugger outside today. Mr X and I went out for brunch at the casino (the best Sunday brunch in town), threw a few quarters in the slot machines which we promptly lost forever, and came home for the rest of the day. It's supposed to be warmer tomorrow, but they always say that. Oh well, we had a gorgeous summer -- I'll accept whatever this winter wants to throw at us in exchange for a nice summer.

It is so fun having Mr X home all the time. We've been exercising together lots (I always did, but it's nice to have company) and we even usually watch the same TV shows. Sometimes he just can't bear another minute of, say, Dr. Phil, and he goes downstairs, but usually we find something we both like to watch. It's also really fun talking to someone who replies with something more intelligent than woof or meow. I was honestly kind of nervous how we'd manage when he quit his away job, but it's really been great. We drive each other crazy a little bit sometimes, but that's okay. We always manage to like each other at the end of the day.

Right now I'm watching Passionate Eye; it's about spelling bees tonight. These kids are crazy. I do not know how they can spell without writing things down. I can hardly spell my name without writing it down (however, I'm an excellent speller when I do write it down; even words other than my name) -- I could take some lessons from these little gaffers.

I have nothing to say tonight. All I really wanted to do was post the picture of Chaeli, haha. I'll try to come up with something more intelligent later this week.

The Storm of the Century

2007-01-10T19:19:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday to my slightly older sister today!

Well, we're in blizzard hell here in Nowhere, Saskatch, today. It would all be very exciting if I was actually allowed to stay home and watch it from the window. However, I have no excuse to not go outside other than an intense dislike for 90 km/hr wind gusts, so I actually did go to work today. The storm has been dubbed The Blizzard of 2007 which is really not so impressive considering 2007 is but 10 days old; not too much to compare it with so far.

Mr X was unable to go to work because every single highway in the vicinity was closed last night and all day today and he has to drive 45 minutes to work, so he was in charge of Snow Clearing and Chauffering. He is the master of both, as it turns out.

I had the most unpleasant conversation at work this morning. I'm still pissed off. Somehow we started discussing the contribution of First Nations people to our society. It went from ugly to pukeworthy in about 3 sentences. I shouldn't be surprised -- it's certainly not the first time such things have come up in my office. But this time someone actually said, "Just think what's going to happen in a few years. They are mulitiplying far faster than we are and soon there will be more of them than there are of us. What if they start running for office and voting for each other -- they'll be running the country! Then where will we be?!" That's a paraphrase because my head was exploding and I probably don't remember it exactly. I asked her if she'd ever heard of apartheid. I said lots of other things, too. Can you even imagine living with that kind of prejudice around you every single day? Good grief. It makes me sick. The thing is, I really like the woman who was saying those things. She's generally an open-minded, decent woman. That almost makes it worse. Gah. So depressing.

Al Gore is Hot

2007-01-07T16:47:00.000-08:00

So, tonight is appetizer night. Then we'll exercise. How silly. We should be having celery sticks then exercising. Actually, I'm having some low-fat egg rolls so that shouldn't be too scary. However, Mr X made some haystacks (unbaked chocolate oatmeal cookies) so I most definitely will have to wear those off on the elliptical.

Did I mention that we moved the bowflex, the elliptical and the exercise bike downstairs so we can have a table in our dining room like regular people? It actually works out rather nicely. We have a tv with all the channels down there so it's not too bad. Puddy is afraid of the basement; we're not really sure why, but he just lays at the top of the stairs and looks sad until we come up again and he just freaks out if he accidentally finds himself downstairs. Maybe our ghost is freaking him out.

It's fun having Mr X join me on the exercise train this year, especially since Mitchie abandoned me a few months ago. She still seems to be losing weight though and looks like a toothpick by now. Don't know how she's pulling that off. I think it's the beer and ciggie diet. Not recommended for 40-somethings, though.

Mr X had a bit of excitement this week. I think it was Tuesday noon he phoned me and said he'd just been in an accident at work. He's driving a semi these days, so accidents are scary. He was turning left off the highway and someone decided to pass him. The guy was driving a small car, but miraculously just hit the tire at the back of the cab. Mr X said if the guy had hit him a split second later he would have gone under the trailer and the top of the car would have been ripped off. It's the first time Mr X has ever been in an accident so it was a bit freaky. I'm so thankful everyone is okay. It sure reminds you how life can change in just a split second.

We had a bit of a 'do with Chaeli this week, too. Her erstwhile father decided he was going to come pick her up for the weekend. He hasn't seen her since August. Good grief. Fortunately his plan was to take her to his sister's house for a family Christmas. His sister is a decent person and has a son Chaeli's age, so it actually went quite well. We were so worried about how Chaeli would react to him picking her up -- would she even know who he was?-- but it was okay. She seemed happy enough to see him and he returned her on time and in one piece, so I guess that's as much as we could hope for. Actually, we were hoping he would just go away forever, but it seems that's not going to happen. Oh well, the more people Chaeli has loving her, the better, right? Maybe he'll actually start paying Nyk, too. Time will tell. It's just SO good to have her back home. We all missed her so much!

Mr X and I watched Al Gore's An Inconvenient Truth this afternoon, something I think everyone should do. It was really quite inspiring. We were talking earlier today how easy it is in small town Saskatch to ignore the whole reduce/recycle phenom, but how it's still important to do what we can in our own little circle. Our recycling program in this town is very lame, but we'll try!

Happy New Year!

2006-12-29T20:06:00.000-08:00

So, another Christmas in the books. It was really nice to stay home this year and have Mitchie and Nyk (and their respective boys) here. Chaeli was the star, of course, and she was so good about the presents. She was so excited when she was allowed to open something but she didn't bother with anything until we gave them to her. She's just so much fun! We all ate too much and we were all spoiled with gifties, so it was pretty much perfect.

Mr X and I got up early Saturday morning and did a bunch of last-minute stuff -- baking buns and making dip, chopping veggies -- then mid-afternoon we headed to Prince Albert (about 2 hours away) for dinner with some of his friends and co-workers. We had a great time, but it was kind of sad. Mr X isn't going back to that job in the new year and as much as we made promises to get together with everybody we all know it probably won't ever be the same. It's sad -- those guys meant so much to him over the past couple of years.

Mr X started his new job yesterday, even though he wasn't supposed to start until January 2nd. We just don't do days off very well, either one of us. I was pretty happy to get back to the office after 4 days off, too. Anyway, he has a very nice company truck and gas card and says everyone is friendly so hopefully this will be a good fit. It really is so nice to have him home every night. Puddy, our chocolate lab, loves MrX so he's just in dog heaven now with his dad home every night. Puddy always moped around for a few days when Mr X would go up to work and he looked so surprised tonight when his dad walked through the door yet again. It's just fabu!

It looks like we won't be going North for NYE. Neither one of us feels like travelling and we just get 3 days off, so we're going out for dinner on NYE with some friends, two other couples. It should be fun, and we won't have to stay out too late. We're so old. hah. And hopefully sometime this weekend we'll get our house and tree un-decorated and back to normal.

Gah. Tonight Saddam Hussein was executed. I'm actually kind of surprised how sick this all makes me. I'm not a capital punishment fan AT ALL. Even though he was an evil, horrid man, I still can't find justification in the death of anyone. It's so barbaric. Who decides? Who carries out the killing of the accused? Who is accountable for the lost life? Sick. It makes me sick. There are so many people who have been responsible for the deaths of many people (GW Bush, perhaps?) over the years; who decides who should die for those deaths? What about Darfur? Who are we executing over the travesties of Darfur? Bah. Mr X thinks I'm crazy. Maybe he's right.

Happy New Year. I hope next year the world is a safer, friendlier place to be.

It's December the Whateenth?

2006-12-13T20:50:00.000-08:00

Eeks. I just realized today that Christmas is less than 2 weeks away. I am so not ready. My life revolves around other people's real estate closing dates; Christmas was not even on the radar until it dawned on me while I was out shovelling tonight. Apologies to my sister; cards are still on the kitchen table -- might be late.

This weekend Mr X wants me to meet him at the family farm (3.5 hours from here) to go skidooing. I will probably go and it will definitely be fun but there goes another 2 days of Christmas preparations. And I'll need to buy presents for his family like tomorrow so I can take them along. Oh well, I think I'll take a day off next week and drag Mr X around town to finish it all off. I have the stocking stuffers, the baking, some presies, but I still have a long way to go.

Then, next Saturday we're going to Prince Albert, about 2 hours away, to do a dinner with some of Mr X's friends and co-workers. That will be fun, but I'm going to have to be totally finished preparations by then. Hah. Bon chance.

One of Mr X's friends has a fishing lodge up by Flin Flon and has invited us to go up around New Years for a couple of days. We can dogsled and snowshoe and skidoo and hang out by the fire. I am so not a winter-outdoorsy person, but Jimmie is fun and I think it might be a good time. Mr X went up there last New Years and had a blast. On New Year's Eve on their reserve, everyone comes out of their homes yelling and shouting and shooting guns into the air at midnight. Mr X called me when that was all happening last year and I thought he was in the middle of a riot. He had so much fun though, and I may get in on it this year. (But I do wonder; where do the bullets go when you shoot 50 guns into the air? How odd.) He's going to miss those guys so much if he doesn't work up there next year. So am I. We'll still see them, but not nearly as much. :(

Hah. I just looked up from my laptop and I'm surrounded by fur. We have a sectional sofa and it's covered with 2 dogs and 3 cats, fast asleep on each other. I'm almost falling off of the edge. My old crabby cat, Lazee, is sleeping on the sofa back but the rest of the critters are on the cushions, all cuddled up. I can't see where Smokey (cat) ends and Charlotte (dog) begins because they're both black. Even Puddy, the chocolate lab, looks happy and he doesn't usually appreciate sleeping with a cat touching him. Aww, so cozy.

Work has been so much fun these days. We have an articling student with us now, and he's such a breath of fresh air. I've worked with him before and we laugh at the same things that no one else gets, so it's just a blast. Also, a couple of my fave clients did mortgages with me this week, so I've been doing lots of visiting with fun people. I'm not supposed to get chummy with clients, but sue me. I can't help it sometimes. It makes the experience more fun for all of us. No one really wants to go to a law office, but we legal people are not all money-hungry grouches. Actually most of us aren't.

So anyway, my mantra tomorrow....shop, shop, shop. I hate shopping so it's going to take some effort. I can doooo it!!

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas

2006-12-09T19:08:00.000-08:00

What a fun day! Chaeli-Bean was over for a visit and it was beautiful outside, so we spent some time out in the snow. Here she is, bundled up in the backyard. That's Charlotte eating snow behind her. I took her for a walk down the block with her sled for awhile, too. It's amazing that she can even move with all of these clothes on.

When we came inside we baked a bunch of goodies. I have to take stuff to work on Monday because we're taking turns bringing Christmas munchies. Way to sabotage the old diet, but it's fun!

Tonight I went to Shoppers to start on my stocking stuffer shopping. I'm avoiding every other store because I can't stand crowds, but I guess I'll have to brave it eventually. Mr X is home next week so perhaps I'll take a day off and we can power-shop until we're done.

Chaeli and I sat at the piano and played Christmas carols today. I sang too, but she just played. She hogs the keys so I just played at the high end. Today is the first day she saw our tree and decorations and she was so cute. She kept saying, "Ooooh" and gently touching things, but she didn't seem to want to wreck anything. She's so good! I don't know what we ever did without her -- she just makes life so much more fun.

Yesterday I closed Nyk's house deal, so it's official -- she (and the Bank of Nova Scotia) owns her home. She just called and she's busy tearing shelves down and changing things to be the way she wants them to be. I'm just about exploding with pride for her -- she' s just 21, but she really has it together. This summer we'll have a work bee and paint her brown trim to something more palatable, fix the fence, plant flowers, make it perfect.

Mitchie is off at a wedding with her boy tonight. I don't seem to see her much these days but she's happy and looking like a million bucks so it's all good.

I can't believe how lucky I am to have my girlies all here, living in town. I hope we never, ever move away.

Where have I been?

2006-12-05T17:44:00.000-08:00

Wow, it's been ages since I've been on here. Blame it on Mr X. He's been home keeping me occupied.

How fun to see all the comments here! I really appreciate them. Yes, sistah, bring on Janna! (Janna's my very cool niece, by the way, who I, unfortunately, never get to see anymore.) This blog is very sparsely advertised because I want to feel comfortable to say whatever I want to say, but fun people are always welcome.

What have I been doing over the past couple of weeks.... well, I moved into my office at work. I absolutely love it. I have 2 computers (one with internet, one without because my boss is afraid everyone in the free world wishes for access to our top-secret information), a fake plant, a Christmas tree, and a wall of windows which I expect to enjoy even more in the summer. My new desk doesn't arrive for a couple of weeks, but it looks great in there anyway. It's so nice to be able to do my work in peace, without all the distractions of The Pit. People come in to visit me once in awhile, which I love, but usually I'm on my own.

Work has been ssssooooo stressful lately. I think 90% of my co-workers are peri-menopausal (men included) and the crankiness is really getting to me. We had our staff party on Friday night, just a dinner, and I knew from the first sip of scotch that the Time Had Arrived. Fortunately, the dinner was quick and by the time we headed out the door the 2 scotch straight up and the 1/2 bottle of nasty house wine hadn't quite found its way to my brain yet. We strolled across the street to a bar to meet Mitchie and her boyfriend (Mr X, our articling student from work and I) and the fun began. Partay! We danced, we laughed, we drank, we went to Bar No. 2, drank some more, and eventually found our way home without anyone getting hurt or too humiliated. It was perfect. I feel much better now. I dont' remember too much of what actually happened, but I do know I met Nyk's man's mother on the dancefloor. That was fun.

Mr X went all Clark Griswald on our house and we have possibly the most-decorated yard on the street. Or even in town. It looks tacky, overdone and just beautiful. He has one more shift before Christmas, then who knows what will happen with our lives. He's talking again of quitting his job so he can be home more. I'm scared because I'm a big fan of financial security, but we'll be okay, whatever happens. He always manages to bounce back. It really will be nice to have him home more, so we'll just make it work.

If you really want to, you can

2006-11-25T16:47:00.000-08:00

I had the pleasure of talking with a local lawyer a couple of days ago at a real estate open house that my job obliged me to attend. She had pointed out her conveyancing secretary to me and mentioned that all of her staff are single mothers because she went through her adult life and law school as a single mother and she wants to help others out where she can. I was intrigued and asked her a few questions. Turns out she decided, at 39, that she wanted to be a lawyer. She had no money, a couple of kids and she was approaching middle age, but by 45 she hung her shingle out and she is now a successful lawyer. I told her I long for the day when I too can go to University and get my degree, preferably in law. She said, "If you really want to, you can. If I did it, anyone can do it." She's right, of course. What an inspiring, wonderful woman.

I told Mr X about my conversation with this lawyer and he reminded me that the last time someone said those words to me I left my minimum wage job, sold my car and went to college. It was so very difficult (I was raising 2 kids with absolutely no money) but I was successful and I never looked back. I know I can do anything if I put my mind to it. Now, to get my mind to it. I must begin the investigation process and see how to make it doable. Lucky for me, this time I have Mr X behind me, and he is very supportive. But I'm still afraid. Life is so comfortable right now, but I know it can only get better.

Speaking of comfort, tomorrow I'm going to move into my new office. I'm still waiting for my new desk, which is scheduled to arrive in two weeks, but my computers are set up on the existing desks and I spent a few hours in there on Friday. One whole wall is windows and it's so refreshing after staring at a wall for the past 6 years. I'm a bit afraid of resentment from the other legal assistants, some of whom have been there years longer than I have, because I'll be the only one in an office. But I'm the one who was willing to take on the most difficult desk in April when the previous conveyancing secretary retired, so I hope it's okay. I also work completely independently so I really don't need anyone else around to do my job.

On a completely different note, I'm going to copy a portion of a post here that I wrote in a message board today. I want to save it because it meant a lot to me as I was writing it. It was in reply to someone who is questioning her faith because she has recently lost someone and is having trouble believing in a God who allows bad things to happen to good people. I don't know if what I wrote will mean anything to her, but I've struggled with my faith too, and this is a summary of what I came out of the struggle with:

I began to type this reply about an hour ago when the phone rang. It was my mum with the report that her beloved sister died, just this morning. My mum believes that Auntie Edith has gone home. She finds peace in that, and I am so grateful that she does. My mum has lost her parents, her husband, three sisters, two brothers and, just a couple of weeks ago, her best friend, among many other profound losses and struggles she has had to endure in her life.

My mum is old, and has the faith of the pioneers who struggled to make this country habitable many years ago. I envy that faith. Their losses had to have been as profound as our losses are today. Imagine moving to the wilds of Canada in the 1800s with no family, no money, nothing to fall back on. Your wagon goes down in the river, taking with it everything you own, including the mule that was supposed to help you plow out a farm. Then you lose a child or two or maybe your husband. Where do you drag faith up out of that? But they did. It was the one thing that drew them together -- the little churches that always sprang up when a few families homesteaded near each other. I totally envy that kind of faith. The faith that didn't expect God to be some kind of a Santa Claus, there to grant wishes and make everything happy, but instead looked to Him as the One that could provide guidance and peace in spite of what life brought them.

Sometimes I think that in this age of wisdom we have become above faith. That, to me, is a tragedy. There is a Bible verse my dad used to quote that says, "Professing to be wise they became fools". We have minimized God to something that we think we should be able to understand. God is so much more than we can understand and we're being arrogant if we think we can discount Him because we can't figure Him out. My association with organized religion is over, but my faith came out of the pain I've been through. I wish the same for you.

What the hell?

2006-11-19T12:06:00.000-08:00

Hmm. It's been awhile since I last posted. I just checked a link to my blog and it was nothing but a blank screen. I've been silenced. How odd.

Mr X just left to go back to work for another shift. His brother was here for the past couple of days and he just left, too. So it's just the critters and me again. At some point today I'm going to have to muster up the energy to go and fill my car with gas. I looks gloomy and cold out there, so I'd just as soon stay inside, but I'd rather get it today than tomorrow on my way to work.

We had Chaeli for the weekend while Nyk and Miles went to the Big City for a concert. She was so much fun, as always. Charlotte had a vet appointment yesterday so Mr X and I took Chaeli along for the ride. She loved the vet's office with the animals and related supplies. She rearranged a shelf of cat food while I was paying the bill. It doesn't take long for a toddler to ruin a display. It's quite remarkable. We saw the biggest rotweiller ever -- the thing was huge. His owner said he was good with children so I let Chaeli pet him. They really liked each other and it was definitely an awwwwww moment. Dog owners are good people for the most part, I've decided. Charlotte spent the entire 40 minutes skulking around with her tail between her legs. She doesn't care much for the vet and she was not in the mood to visit.

Grey Cup game today. I could not care less. Montreal and BC. Whoop. I have no idea who to cheer for. Perhaps I'll cheer for BC's kicker because I like him. In any case, I'll be watching by myself, so I'll probably be surfing ebay at the same time. Maybe I'll find the down jacket that has been eluding me. I just got some fabulous boots and two skirts off of ebay last week. I LOVE the boots. Now I have to get the perfect outfit to match.

21 years ago today

2006-11-13T21:00:00.000-08:00

It seems like yesterday yet it seems like 100 years ago.

21 years ago tonight I was in the hospital awaiting an induction of my baby that was 2 weeks overdue. I received the gift of my first (and hopefully last) enema. Too much fun that was. The next day I was hooked up to a machine and I waited. My friends came to visit. The doctors came to visit. The nurses checked endless streams of paper in hopes of signs of labour. At 6pm, with no contractions and no labour in sight (1 whole cm dilated, woohoo) the doctor broke my water and went home. At 6:42 pm Nyk was born, seconds after the doctor rushed back in and before her dad arrived. So after an extremely long pregnancy and an extremely short labour, Nicole Angie entered the world, teeny, screaming, purple and perfect.

She's still teeny but doesn't scream much. She was purple again once, when she stopped breathing during a febrile seizure at 9 months, but she's usually a nice healthy colour now. And she's definitely still perfect.

Nyk. What a girl. Growing up in the shadow of Michelle, the athletic, outgoing older sister, couldn't have been easy. It was so easy to blend in and sometimes almost disappear. I failed Nyk so many times by not putting her in the spotlight because she seemed to not want to be celebrated. I think I would do things differently if I had a do-over, but then again, I wouldn't change the woman she is today.

Nyk was such a good child -- never talked back, never had a temper tantrum, never wanted us to fuss over her. Nyk was reading by 4; reading to other kids in her kindergarten class when the teacher had other things to deal with. When she was very young, under 2, she liked to repeat long words. I would say things like Afghanistan, Mahatma Ghandi, Taj Mahal, Mississippi, and she would repeat them and we would laugh. It was so cute -- this teeny tiny little girl saying such big, big words, her enunciation almost perfect.

We went through hell and back when Nyk was in her middle teens, some of it her doing, some of it my fault, some of it out of our control. But she made it through. Did she ever.

Tomorrow Nyk will be 21. She is doing exceptionally well at her job, climbing the management ladder, handling groups of people and awkward situations every day. I couldn't do her job, so I really admire her strength and diplomacy. Nyk has a daughter, our beautiful Chaeli. She has a wonderful guy. She just bought a house. She bought a car last month. Sure, we help her out when needed, but she gets the things done that have to be done to accomplish her goals. It'll be fun to see what she has planned next. Whatever it is, she'll do it, and then she'll be on to the next goal.

Happy Birthday, Ms. Nyckee. We are so, so proud of you!

Godspeed, Mary Martin

2006-11-09T19:14:00.000-08:00

Heaven is now a little brighter because the earth has lost a ray of sunshine. They buried Mary Martin in a little graveyard in the countryside in Alberta today.

Mary spent almost 90 years here, giving, laughing, loving, praying; making a difference in the lives she touched. Mary was a cousin of my dad and a best friend to my mom. When I was a child we lived, for a time, across the street from Mary. I loved to go over to her house and visit with her while we worked in the kitchen. I banged on her piano in the basement and she'd tell me how nice I played, even though it must have driven her nearly batty. I remember watching her while she worked in her home -- I was in awe of Mary. Her voice, especially her laughter, was like music. She made everything fun and she cared so, so much. When one of my brothers had a run-in with the law in his teens, it was to Mary's home that he went to work out his problems. Mom says that Mary has had a special place in her heart for him since that crazy time that she helped him through.

Mary's only claim to fame, that I can think of, is that she was once the mother-in-law of Tantoo Cardinal, an actress who was in Legends of the Fall, Dances with Wolves, and who-knows-what-else. I don't suppose fame mattered much to Mary, though. Her family mattered. Her faith mattered. Her friends mattered. She often told me, "I've known your mom since she was 17 years old. We've been friends practically our whole lives." Just imagine, knowing someone for so many years, through the births of their children and grandchildren, the deaths of their husbands and the loss of so many, many friends. They had a car accident on Whyte Avenue in Edmonton a couple of years ago, Mary driving, that bumped them up a bit, but left them even closer, I believe. I think they actually enjoyed the adventure.

I moved away from Edmonton about 7 years ago and nearly every time I went back I'd see Mary at our old church. She'd worm her way through the pews to come give me a hug and tell me how good it was to see me again. She had such a way of making me feel like I was her very favorite person. I'm sure she made a lot of people feel that way. As soon as I'd walk through the doors I'd look for Mary. She never failed to melt my heart. When I was a kid she seemed bigger than life, but she was a tiny little woman at the end. I've wondered for years how it would feel when she died. How bizarre to think that I'll never see her again.

But what a wonderful life. What a wonderful woman. Goodbye Mary Martin. I'll miss you.

Bring on the white stuff

2006-11-08T20:19:00.000-08:00

Today it snowed. A lot. Well, last night, actually. This morning we woke up to our first snowfall of the season and it was a doooozy. I shoveled my ass off for 1/2 hour before work and an hour this evening and I still have one driveway to go. It's very pretty, but really, really heavy.

I also got stuck twice today. Once at a stoplight -- a sweet guy behind me pushed me out -- and 5 minutes later when I tried to pull into my spot at work. That time my coworkers, who were helping another stuck coworker get unstuck, shovelled and pushed me out. I would feel stupid, but I have never seen so many stuck cars in my life as I saw today. It was almost funny. I prayed all the way home and I made it without further incident. Tonight it's supposed to drop to minus 18, so all the ruts will be frozen solid by morning. Fun, fun, fun. I don't know why it makes me so mad. It happens every year, but every year I get pissed right off. Winter sucks. Although the shiny black Skidoo in the garage has Mr X praying for snow, so I could blame this all on him.

Mr X's stepdad is having back surgery in Saskatoon today. I was going to go see them (stepdad and mom) but the weather is too crazy. Perhaps tomorrow. I hope it all went well for him. Mr X was going to call tonight and see, but I haven't heard anything yet.

Got the boots, got the boots, got the boots!

2006-11-04T19:08:00.000-08:00

Finally, finally I found my black tall boots for this year. I've been looking EVERYwhere, including ebay, and I was willing to pay whatever they cost to get the right ones, and today I finally found them. At Winners, can you believe? And on sale for $50 bones. Woo! I'm so happy. So I'm set for footwear this winter. Well, at least I will be when my tan ebay boots come in. Whee!

Mr X and I went to the Big City today, to the Snowmobile show. It was fun, but we didn't buy anything there. Mr X should have bought a helmet, but he says he's saving his money now. He'll wear his fur hat instead. He's so cute.

Mr X and I dragged Chaeli around our backyard in her sled today. No snow, but she didn't care. She laughed and yelled, "Weeeeeeeee, weeeeeee!" for about an hour. She had the full winter garb; mits, balaclava, you name it. She could hardly see. We had so much fun. Just wait until it snows. We'll hardly notice driving over the frozen dog poo when there's snow.

Gotta go. Mr X is off the phone and it's movie-time. Happy day!

Let it roll (do do do do do do) down the highway

2006-11-03T21:54:00.000-08:00

So many miles since I last wrote here.

Last Friday I went to Turtleford for Mr. X's cousin's funeral. It was a cold, sad, infuriating funeral. It was a JW plug and nothing else. The speaker started his spiel by saying that W (the deceased) would not be referred to (in his speech) as one of Jehovah's witnesses because he had not made the commitment. He mentioned this several times. Oh, W had the chance to be a J-ho, but he didn't act on his chance and too bad, so sad for him. Good thing that all the good J-hos in the audience know the truth and too bad, so sad for the rest of us who don't. So, that was it. No eulogy for a wonderful young man who deserved so much more of a sendoff than that. Not a song, not a hymn, not a tear was shed. The man got up on the podium, gave his condemning speech, sat down, and that was the end of the service. Oh, I don't care that it was a JW plug, especially. I would have been just as horrified if it had been a Mennonite plug or anything else. The thing is, W wasn't JW. So, why honour his memory with something he didn't practise, or apparently, even support? It's been a week and I'm still kind of pissed. It was good to see W's parents though, and I'm glad I went nonetheless.

Anyway, Saturday I drove up near Flin Flon to finally see Mr. X's mine. It's about 6 hours each way and by 10am Sunday I was on my way home again. It was fun to go and see his workplace and meet a few more coworkers. I even drove one of the cooks home on Sunday and we had a nice visit. I drove right over a prairie chicken. Bam. Poor little bugger. There were 3 of them evenly spaced across the highway, so I had nowhere to go. I was going about 130 and I aimed and hoped for him to go under my car, because he obviously wasn't going to move. But that didn't work out so well for the chicken. I felt so mean. I told the cook, how sad that 3 chickens went out to search for food and only 2 were coming home. Wah. The cook said, "If Mr. X had hit the chicken, he would have stopped and picked it up for dinner." Always thinking, that man.

Mr. X is home now and tomorrow we're going to drive into Saskatoon for a snowmobile show. Yeah, we just bought a snowmobile, but now we need to see all the fun accessories so we can have something else to need. If nothing else, it will be fun to take a little road trip together, maybe have dinner. And hopefully hit a couple of stores so I can continue my search for the elusive perfect black boots.

And another thing. Something I just read reminded me of this, and we recently had this discussion at my office. There are basically 2 kinds of people in this world; those who want the best bed and those who want someone else to have the best bed. It all started because one of my co-workers was upset that one of her siblings took the best bed before she got there when they went to visit their parents. I said I would want my sister to have the best bed even if I did get there first. She called bullshit and said there is no way I would happily take the lesser bed. I said yes, indeed I would. And the discussion ensued. Of the 5 women at the table, there were 3 who would prefer to give up the better bed and 2 who would take the better bed if they got there first. Not that I'm right or she's wrong, but I would absolutely feel terrible if I knew my sister (or whomever the other guest might be) was sleeping uncomfortably while I was basking in pillows and fluff. Is it because I'm a younger child (in the list of children in my family, I mean) or because I'm a Virgo? Or because the other woman has a better sense of self-worth? Who knows. But I can now predict, with almost 100% certainty, who would chose the better (or lesser) bed when asked this question. Just different kinds of people. And the world, indeed, needs different kinds of people.

Of tattoos and office furniture

2006-10-26T21:41:00.000-07:00

These are my current obsessions.

Tattoos, humm. I've wanted one for quite awhile and now I think is the time. I've been working out consistently for a year and I like the way my body looks. I like my toned shoulders and I think a tat is just the decoration I need. But what to do? My passion (besides my family, whom I will not have tattooed on my shoulder) is the mighty Eskimos. I'm thinking of a flaming funky-looking football with the EE perhaps. I've done a drawing that might actually work. Really, only Mr X, my kids and I will see it, so it's no biggie. I think it's kind of my last tie to being an Albertan. I most likely will never move back to the Homeland, and I'm known around this Saskatch town as the chick with the EE licence plate, jacket, etc. It's hokey, but it just might work. We'll see.

Office furniture. I've been offered a nice corner office at work and was instructed yesterday to choose office furniture from a catalogue. It's weird for me, Ms. Cheapo, to choose something that someone else will pay for and own. I picked a cheapie but functional desk. I don't know if that's what they'll buy, as all the other office furniture is top-of-the-line, custom-designed stuff, but I didn't want to appear greedy. I guess I'll find out next week, as the bosses are off to the big city tomorrow to shop.

On a completely different note, tonight when I was shopping for dog food at Walmart, I ran into a couple of Mr. X's cousins. This is very odd, as they live hours from here. I was delighted to see them -- they're wonderful people, and I know them quite well -- but was horrified to learn the reason for their visit. Another of Mr. X's cousin's (only 28 years old) was killed in an accident and they're here for the funeral tomorrow. The funeral is actually in a town about an hour from here. I didn't really know the deceased cousin, but I do know his parents and sister. I called Mr. X at work (the first time I have ever called him there) to tell him. I offered to go to the funeral as representation from our part of the family, because I don't think his siblings will make it and Mr. X can't leave work on such short notice. I spent most of the evening with the cousins who are staying here, at their hotel, and told them I'd see them at the funeral tomorrow. I sure hope I can get away from work for the afternoon. Man, I cannot imagine the agony of losing a child. I just feel sick for that family. :(

Introducing Chaeli-Bean

2006-10-24T18:46:00.000-07:00

As if I need any encouragement.

This is our little darling, Chaeli. She's 20 months old today. Ima's little queen.

Yesterday I taught her to be a monkey. She goes, "e-e-e-" and scratches her armpits on demand. She's a genius, clearly. She also learned to do a mean imitation of a snake slithering and hissing. So cute!

I get to see her pretty much every day, and she is honestly the greatest joy in my life of many daily joys. Through the eyes of a toddler, the world is an amazing place. Every day, something new.

She has favorite dolls (babies) and she loves our big chocolate lab, Puddy, most of all of our pets. Last night she played with her puzzle on Puddy's back while he was napping. Puddy didn't think much of her at first, but now she's his girl. She also loves to play in the dog's water dish and the toilet, but we don't really encourage that too much. Chaeli's favorite TV shows are on Treehouse. Babar and Little Bear are right up there. But she doesn't really watch much -- she just likes to dance to the music while she plays.

This week Chaeli has been a pro at potty-training. She's one of those gentle little children who seem to do everything with very few adjustment glitches. Just like her mum. We are so blessed to have her in our lives and we're so very thankful for her!

Loving the weekend!

2006-10-22T20:18:00.000-07:00

What a great weekend! I've been super-productive again. Yesterday I cleaned the basement, did a couple of loads of laundry, rearranged the living room to accommodate our new furniture (which I love!) and worked out. Today I raked the million leaves in the front yard, picked up a tonne of doggie-doo in the backyard, made stew, streaked my hair, worked out and watched about 15 hours of TV. Tomorrow it's back to the office again for another week.

Mr. X is away at work right now and Mitchie has spent the entire weekend with her new beau, so my critters have been keeping me company. Nyk and Chaeli were over a couple of times yesterday, too. Chaeli seems to have a bit of a mad-on for me right now; not really sure why. Usually I'm her favorite person, but maybe it's just because I haven't seen her every day lately. She's so funny. Her latest cleverness consists of adding "'s" to things; Baby's (that's her) or Mommy's when she points to things. She loves to colour, too. As soon as she walks into our house she grabs the crayons and colouring book. She colours and counts the crayons (only up to 3 so far!). She's so clever! Awwwww!

I'm feeling the urge to find some volunteering venture. This is the first year I haven't volunteered at the local rink and though I love knowing my weekends are free, I'm feeling kind of selfish with my time. Hmmmm. What to do? I wish I could get into community theatre again, but I don't think there's much going on with that in this little town. I have musical ability and I would love to use it, but where? And even that is more for me that for the community at large. I must ask around...there must be somewhere I could make a difference.

Where there's a will, there's a car

2006-10-19T21:54:00.000-07:00

So happy to report that Nyk got a new(ish) car today! She's been on the phone non-stop since the repair shop announced her piece of shit car would be $1,500 to fix, but to no avail. Finally, last night Mr X and I decided it would be for the best if I would co-sign for her to get a car loan. She worked out all the details and I went in with her to sign and now she's driving an almost-new car with a warranty and she and Chaeli-Bean are safe for the winter. I'm so relieved. So relieved. And it's red! I love red! I'm so proud of her.

As if that wasn't enough excitement for one day, Mr X bought himself a much-coveted Ski-doo. It's a beaut -- even I'm looking forward to snow so we can take it for a spin. He'll use it at work a lot because a couple of the other guys have sleds too, so they can go out in the bush after work every day if they want. I'm verra happy for him. He deserves to have some fun once in awhile, too. And hey, what's another payment. Pshaw.

Mitchie's out carousing with the new flame again tonight. Mr X and I still haven't met him, but by all reports he sounds fun and a bit crazy. Just perfect. I hope it works out for them. Whatever that means. She's such an awesome young woman. I just want everything to be lovely for her.

Ah. Life is good. God is in His heaven and all is right with the world. And everyone in my little family is happy for another day.